Victoria
Posted by ulla on Monday, March 9, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Victoria
Country or City you are from: : Cape Town
Your Age : 37
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : in love with a girl
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 36
How old were you when you first told someone? : 36
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I'd just got it on with my first girl and I was so excited about it I had to tell my Mum! I was a little nervous though...the thought crossed my mind that maybe she wouldn't be too happy about it! But I told her anyway, grinning all the time.
What made you choose that person to tell? : We were living together at the time and she was my closest pal.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : You know yesterday when our friend said she was gay? And you said "well maybe you should make an honest woman out of my daughter then"...well, Ma, we got together. Thanks.
How did you feel? : I felt like I was telling her I'd broken one of her cups! Had no idea whether she would freak or not.
What was the person’s reaction? : she did a double take
What did they say? : "oh....well"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Fine! She was very curious.
What’s it like now? : She died 3 months later..but she was always cool with it.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : My girlfriend, but it was not a problem as the people she told (our tenants in the granny flat)kind of guessed anyway! They knew their landladies were sharing a 1- bedroom house so I'm sure it was obvious!
What happened? : Nothing! it just went from us talking about each other as friends to talking about us as a couple...very smooth.
What were peoples’ reactions? : They were so interested in our first kiss story, how we realised we liked girls, etc.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : Not yet! Not directly anyway. i had a couple of acquaintances who seemed homophobic without knowing about me, so I've just stopped interacting with them.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It means being proud of being in love! We all should be anyway, whoever it's with, love is a wonderful thing!
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I come from a background where there is generally acceptance of difference, so it's been easy.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : I've never been in it but I think it must be a hard place to be.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : First tell someone who loves and knows you as a person. Hopefully their love for you will help them get over any shock/prejudice.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I'd love to do it all again, exactly the same! It was exhilarating.
Anything you want to add? : love is all you need
Country or City you are from: : Cape Town
Your Age : 37
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : in love with a girl
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 36
How old were you when you first told someone? : 36
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I'd just got it on with my first girl and I was so excited about it I had to tell my Mum! I was a little nervous though...the thought crossed my mind that maybe she wouldn't be too happy about it! But I told her anyway, grinning all the time.
What made you choose that person to tell? : We were living together at the time and she was my closest pal.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : You know yesterday when our friend said she was gay? And you said "well maybe you should make an honest woman out of my daughter then"...well, Ma, we got together. Thanks.
How did you feel? : I felt like I was telling her I'd broken one of her cups! Had no idea whether she would freak or not.
What was the person’s reaction? : she did a double take
What did they say? : "oh....well"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Fine! She was very curious.
What’s it like now? : She died 3 months later..but she was always cool with it.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : My girlfriend, but it was not a problem as the people she told (our tenants in the granny flat)kind of guessed anyway! They knew their landladies were sharing a 1- bedroom house so I'm sure it was obvious!
What happened? : Nothing! it just went from us talking about each other as friends to talking about us as a couple...very smooth.
What were peoples’ reactions? : They were so interested in our first kiss story, how we realised we liked girls, etc.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : Not yet! Not directly anyway. i had a couple of acquaintances who seemed homophobic without knowing about me, so I've just stopped interacting with them.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It means being proud of being in love! We all should be anyway, whoever it's with, love is a wonderful thing!
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I come from a background where there is generally acceptance of difference, so it's been easy.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : I've never been in it but I think it must be a hard place to be.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : First tell someone who loves and knows you as a person. Hopefully their love for you will help them get over any shock/prejudice.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I'd love to do it all again, exactly the same! It was exhilarating.
Anything you want to add? : love is all you need
In : Lesbian
Tags: victoria lesbian "south africa" female
