I made a point of raising my children to be aware of diversity and all that that may embrace, whether looks, health, colour etc, never dreaming that one day it would stand me in such good stead and make what for most is a huge step, one that for me went so smoothly.

I first starting exploring my same sex fantasies on the internet, name the lesbian chatrooms. My daughter found me on one of the chatrooms one evening and wanted to know what on earth I was doing there as I wasn’t gay and liked men too much… “Says who?” was my reply. She brought up the topic once or twice after that but there was no girlfriend on the horizon so no confirmation.

Months later I met my first girlfriend. The children had been away to their father for the weekend and she and I had been away to Mpumalanga. I stopped in at the hostel to say hello after I returned and to see if they needed anything for the week. After I’d heard about their weekend I’d told Jolene about my weekend and as I was leaving and about the start the car she said “**** is more than just a friend isn’t she mom?”. Well I went bright red and if I could’ve crawled under the steering wheel at that moment I would have! My daughter however reassured me she liked my girlfriend and was perfectly ok with it.

My son being a typical teen boy however was blissfully unaware of anything. We all four went away for a weekend and it got quite tricky, I was used to showing affection but didn’t want him to find out in such an “in your face” way. My girlfriend had never come out to her family even though she had had girlfriends from an early age so when I told her I was going to tell my son her reaction was “count me out!”. That week he and I were alone in the car and I mentioned I’d been going dancing etc at Gay Clubs. I asked him if he knew what it meant to be Gay / Homosexual. His answer was “yes, when to people of the same sex love each other”. Well that alone was enough for me to realize he would be ok with what I had to say, at the same time hearing someone else is gay is totally different to being told it’s your own mother! My daughter asked if she could be there when I told him saying that if he could see she was ok with I it would make it easier for him to accept. So that weekend I asked him to sit down as I had something to tell him. Jolene joined us. I told him I’d been spending a lot of time with **** and I needed to tell him that there was more than just friendship between us, that in fact she was my girlfriend and we were in a relationship. His reaction: “Kewl Mom, I like her and I’ve never see you so happy”.

Over the years they have both stood by me and been proud of me no matter who my partner was, there have been some they’ve liked more than others but the love between my children and I has been a rock for me!