The Gray Lady
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Asexual
Country & city: United States
Name/nickname: The Gray Lady
Age: 21
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Asexual
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Quiet, nerdy, smart, eccentric.
How old were you when you first realized your identity? About 16-17
How old were you when you first told someone? 17
Did you plan it? If so, how? No.
What made you choose that person to tell? He said he was asexual.
Can you remember exactly what you said? I said, “Me too.”
How did you feel? Completely normal… no emotional reaction at all.
What was the person’s reaction? “Yay! Asexual pride!”
What did they say? See above.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Exactly the same as before… then several months later we got into a relationship.
What’s it like now? We’ve broken up since, and we no longer talk to one another.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? What happened? N/A
What were peoples’ reactions? Most people are confused at first, then assume there must be something wrong with me, or pity me for leading a “boring life.” I’ve been called delusional/in denial as well.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Homophobia doesn’t really apply, but a lot of people seem to have the idea that I’m not a mature, complete person because I don’t experience sexual attraction.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: I’ve written papers about it, and given a speech about it. I’m also involved in my local QSA, and out to them, but otherwise it doesn’t usually come up.
Job: Doesn’t come up.
Family: I’m out to my immediate family. My sister has sort of accepted it, my parents are convinced I’m a lesbian in denial.
Friends: They all know, and they all accept it.
What does being out mean to you? It means letting other people know that people like me exist, so that maybe it will be easier for others. It means not being ashamed to be true to myself.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Invisibility. Feeling that something’s wrong with you.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? The advice I would give really depends on the person’s situation, and who they want to come out to. I would say to think about it first, and if you’re worried about not being understood, stick to the type of communication that you’re good at.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wouldn’t do it any differently.
Name/nickname: The Gray Lady
Age: 21
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Asexual
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Quiet, nerdy, smart, eccentric.
How old were you when you first realized your identity? About 16-17
How old were you when you first told someone? 17
Did you plan it? If so, how? No.
What made you choose that person to tell? He said he was asexual.
Can you remember exactly what you said? I said, “Me too.”
How did you feel? Completely normal… no emotional reaction at all.
What was the person’s reaction? “Yay! Asexual pride!”
What did they say? See above.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Exactly the same as before… then several months later we got into a relationship.
What’s it like now? We’ve broken up since, and we no longer talk to one another.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? What happened? N/A
What were peoples’ reactions? Most people are confused at first, then assume there must be something wrong with me, or pity me for leading a “boring life.” I’ve been called delusional/in denial as well.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Homophobia doesn’t really apply, but a lot of people seem to have the idea that I’m not a mature, complete person because I don’t experience sexual attraction.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: I’ve written papers about it, and given a speech about it. I’m also involved in my local QSA, and out to them, but otherwise it doesn’t usually come up.
Job: Doesn’t come up.
Family: I’m out to my immediate family. My sister has sort of accepted it, my parents are convinced I’m a lesbian in denial.
Friends: They all know, and they all accept it.
What does being out mean to you? It means letting other people know that people like me exist, so that maybe it will be easier for others. It means not being ashamed to be true to myself.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Invisibility. Feeling that something’s wrong with you.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? The advice I would give really depends on the person’s situation, and who they want to come out to. I would say to think about it first, and if you’re worried about not being understood, stick to the type of communication that you’re good at.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wouldn’t do it any differently.
In : Asexual
