Tasha
Posted by ulla on Sunday, February 22, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Country & city: Johannesburg, South Africa
Name/nickname: Natasha (Tasha)
Age:28
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? I love being referred to as a dyke ;o)
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 14
How old were you when you first told someone? 24
Did you plan it? If so, how? I was sick of trying to be someone I’m not to please others so no … there were no significant plans to out myself.
What made you choose that person to tell? I did a test run on my stepbrother to gauge what kind of reaction I might get from the rest of my family.
Can you remember exactly what you said? Pretty much went something like “how would you feel if I told you I was gay?”
How did you feel? Free
What was the person’s reaction? the whole ‘phase’ thing came up.
What did they say? I should really think hard about my decision before telling anyone else. Make 100% sure.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We have always had a respect for each other on a certain level .. that did not change, thankfully.
What’s it like now? I’m the ‘ra ra I’m a dyke type’, very out and proud … my family have accepted me through taking this attitude.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? No, I think that would be the kind of betrayel I could never deal with.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. A very close ‘butch’ friend of mine was beaten up on a London train by some guys. Often I have people make comments as I only ever date butch women. People can be so ignorant.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: I start 1st year psychology in Jan .. makes me want to educate myself more on how people’s minds work and how I could make a difference in people’s beliefs.
Job: I am out and proud at every job I am in.
Family: Same as with work, people either accept me or stay out of my life.
Friends: I lost a few friends but then again would they really be my friends if they did not accept me regardless?
What does being out mean to you?I have a sense of pride in who I am
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I grew up in a very christian home. A lot of people frown upon my sexuality which made the transition more difficult.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? A feeling of entrapment.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Regret is a horrible thing, don’t delay the inevitable by caring what others think of you. Your happiness should always be number one.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would never have lied to myself and those around me for 10 years .. it is time wasted .. time that I will never get back. I regret that most.
Name/nickname: Natasha (Tasha)
Age:28
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? I love being referred to as a dyke ;o)
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 14
How old were you when you first told someone? 24
Did you plan it? If so, how? I was sick of trying to be someone I’m not to please others so no … there were no significant plans to out myself.
What made you choose that person to tell? I did a test run on my stepbrother to gauge what kind of reaction I might get from the rest of my family.
Can you remember exactly what you said? Pretty much went something like “how would you feel if I told you I was gay?”
How did you feel? Free
What was the person’s reaction? the whole ‘phase’ thing came up.
What did they say? I should really think hard about my decision before telling anyone else. Make 100% sure.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We have always had a respect for each other on a certain level .. that did not change, thankfully.
What’s it like now? I’m the ‘ra ra I’m a dyke type’, very out and proud … my family have accepted me through taking this attitude.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? No, I think that would be the kind of betrayel I could never deal with.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. A very close ‘butch’ friend of mine was beaten up on a London train by some guys. Often I have people make comments as I only ever date butch women. People can be so ignorant.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: I start 1st year psychology in Jan .. makes me want to educate myself more on how people’s minds work and how I could make a difference in people’s beliefs.
Job: I am out and proud at every job I am in.
Family: Same as with work, people either accept me or stay out of my life.
Friends: I lost a few friends but then again would they really be my friends if they did not accept me regardless?
What does being out mean to you?I have a sense of pride in who I am
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I grew up in a very christian home. A lot of people frown upon my sexuality which made the transition more difficult.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? A feeling of entrapment.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Regret is a horrible thing, don’t delay the inevitable by caring what others think of you. Your happiness should always be number one.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would never have lied to myself and those around me for 10 years .. it is time wasted .. time that I will never get back. I regret that most.
In : Lesbian
