Name or Nick Name : Sohmakun
Country or City you are from: : Atlanta, GA
Your Age : 25
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Quiet, creative, kind and friendly.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 12
How old were you when you first told someone? : 15
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Yes, I just picked a time when things were quiet and we were alone. I didn’t want anyone else but my parents to know at the time.
What made you choose that person to tell? : I was home schooled until I was 17 so my closest friends at the time were my parents and siblings. I also thought they would be more understanding than my sisters and brother.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : “Mom, Dad, I’m a lesbian because I like girls”
How did you feel? : Awkward and ashamed, homosexuality is very taboo in my family.
What was the person’s reaction? : Shocked and angry
What did they say? : I can’t exactly remember.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : We slowly started to drift away.
What’s it like now? : We don’t speak that often except for on Thanksgiving and birthdays.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : N/A
What happened? : N/A
What were peoples’ reactions? : N/A
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : Now that I’m trying to adopt, I’m trying look for a domestic adoption agency that has a Christian foundation because I want a social worker who shares my beliefs. I was told by the social worker “legally, we cannot deny single lesbians the right to adopt but we can promise you a very long wait time of 2-3 years!”. Needless to say, that agency will never get a dime of my money!
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It means being who God created me to be without worrying about hiding dangerous secrets from those I really care about.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I grew up in a conservative Christian in the South. I was told that homosexuality was the worst sin I could commit. This is why I waited three years to come out.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Its a place for us to quietly think about the right time and the right people to come out too .
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Wait until you are financially independent from your parents to come out. My mom and dad threatened to kick me out a few times and to take me out of college (I was 17 when I started college) if I acted “too gay”. If they had followed through on that promise, I don’t think I would have the education that I have today.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No
Anything you want to add? : Thank you for inviting me to this interview. It was extremely fun!