Rhi
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Bisexual
Country & city: Uk/Leicester
Name/nickname: Rhi
Age: 26
Gender: F
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Bi.
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Rhi.
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 23-ish when I realised
How old were you when you first told someone? 24/25
Did you plan it? If so, how? I didn’t really plan it. There was wine.
{What made you choose that person to tell?
How did you feel?
What was the person’s reaction?
What did they say?
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards?
What’s it like now?}
With my mum because we were talking, and there was wine, and I had come to realise then I can tell my mum anything.
Can you remember exactly what you said? Not at all. Not just because of the wine. Basically, with my mum over the years, our relationship has gotten very, very strong. When I was a teenager, there wasn’t really much of a relationship at all, no communication, none of that real mother/daughter stuff. We were all just getting along with our lives, and I had other things to deal with than the state of my relationship with my mum. Fair enough, this is just how things went. Then, we were having a couple of glasses of wine, and having one of those ’serious everything life’ conversations that have become more and more frequent and then we were talking about a girl I had a crush on in school and it just sort of came out, without either of us batting an eyelid. She knew. Of course she knew. I may be living a couple of hundred miles away, but she knows. It’s a mum thing, or I think it is. I’m hoping she’s not psychic, but I suspect that too sometimes.
With my sister, there was beer. And some weed, I think. My cousin’s thirtieth and we went to a club and I was away from my boyf, with three of the people I love the most in the world (my sister and my cousins) and so bloody drunk that I was enjoying dancing to what I think was hard house music. And I was flirting, cause I like to do that, my own self esteem issues aside, but flirting with girls. My sister asked me about it, I think, the exact details are hazy, but I do remember her yelling “I knew it!!” and wondering when I was so fucking obvious in the real world. She wanted me to take her to gay clubs, I laughed, we danced, I had more beer.
I am lucky, with my family, at least, the people who are important to me. My uncle was bisexual, my mum’s best friend since childhood transgendered, this stuff has already been dealt with before I even came along.
At work, it’s a different case, I’m not there, though I know most people suspect/know from my comments, I’m hardly discreet. I don’t care or worry too much about what people think about me, it’s only what I think about myself that matters most of the time, but I worry that once it’s solidified it’ll be a different matter and I will care. i hope to find this out in the next few months. We’ll see.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? To be honest, the closet, it’s just, a concept, a metaphor, another word. Take it as you want it. My closets are full of junk, there’s no room for any of my secrets.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? I don’t know. Be prepared for the worst seems to negative.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wish I could’ve figured it all out earlier. But there are a lot of aspect of my life I wish were different. Not just how I came out.
Name/nickname: Rhi
Age: 26
Gender: F
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Bi.
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Rhi.
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 23-ish when I realised
How old were you when you first told someone? 24/25
Did you plan it? If so, how? I didn’t really plan it. There was wine.
{What made you choose that person to tell?
How did you feel?
What was the person’s reaction?
What did they say?
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards?
What’s it like now?}
With my mum because we were talking, and there was wine, and I had come to realise then I can tell my mum anything.
Can you remember exactly what you said? Not at all. Not just because of the wine. Basically, with my mum over the years, our relationship has gotten very, very strong. When I was a teenager, there wasn’t really much of a relationship at all, no communication, none of that real mother/daughter stuff. We were all just getting along with our lives, and I had other things to deal with than the state of my relationship with my mum. Fair enough, this is just how things went. Then, we were having a couple of glasses of wine, and having one of those ’serious everything life’ conversations that have become more and more frequent and then we were talking about a girl I had a crush on in school and it just sort of came out, without either of us batting an eyelid. She knew. Of course she knew. I may be living a couple of hundred miles away, but she knows. It’s a mum thing, or I think it is. I’m hoping she’s not psychic, but I suspect that too sometimes.
With my sister, there was beer. And some weed, I think. My cousin’s thirtieth and we went to a club and I was away from my boyf, with three of the people I love the most in the world (my sister and my cousins) and so bloody drunk that I was enjoying dancing to what I think was hard house music. And I was flirting, cause I like to do that, my own self esteem issues aside, but flirting with girls. My sister asked me about it, I think, the exact details are hazy, but I do remember her yelling “I knew it!!” and wondering when I was so fucking obvious in the real world. She wanted me to take her to gay clubs, I laughed, we danced, I had more beer.
I am lucky, with my family, at least, the people who are important to me. My uncle was bisexual, my mum’s best friend since childhood transgendered, this stuff has already been dealt with before I even came along.
At work, it’s a different case, I’m not there, though I know most people suspect/know from my comments, I’m hardly discreet. I don’t care or worry too much about what people think about me, it’s only what I think about myself that matters most of the time, but I worry that once it’s solidified it’ll be a different matter and I will care. i hope to find this out in the next few months. We’ll see.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? To be honest, the closet, it’s just, a concept, a metaphor, another word. Take it as you want it. My closets are full of junk, there’s no room for any of my secrets.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? I don’t know. Be prepared for the worst seems to negative.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wish I could’ve figured it all out earlier. But there are a lot of aspect of my life I wish were different. Not just how I came out.
In : Bisexual
