Skwirrel
Name or Nick Name : skwirrel
Country or City you are from: : CapeTown
Your Age : 46
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Friend, daughter, sister, wife.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : mid-teens
How old were you when you first told someone? : 31
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I’ve said 31 as the age I first told someone, because before then only one person knew and that person had died a few years earlier.
The first person I told was someone who I’d been friends with since I was 10 years old.
What made you choose that person to tell? : ‘Cos she’s the closest thing I have to a big sister :)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Nope, too long ago.
How did you feel? : Relief.
What was the person’s reaction? : Positive as expected.
What did they say? : She asked me why it had taken me so long because she’d known for years.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Same as before.
What’s it like now? : Same as before!
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Not that I know of, but it wouldn’t concern me if it did happen.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I’m lucky in that I haven’t had any bad experiences with homophobia.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It meant the beginning of the end of the walls I’d built around myself, and I don’t ever intend to let those walls reappear.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : none
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Claustrophobia.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : You will be surprised by the people who are accepting and hurt by the people you thought would be accepting. Just remember that if someone was a “friend” before you came out & then rejects you, that person never was a true friend, because coming out does not change who you are as a person.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Would probably come out earlier, and would not be drunk when telling my parents!
Country or City you are from: : CapeTown
Your Age : 46
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Friend, daughter, sister, wife.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : mid-teens
How old were you when you first told someone? : 31
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I’ve said 31 as the age I first told someone, because before then only one person knew and that person had died a few years earlier.
The first person I told was someone who I’d been friends with since I was 10 years old.
What made you choose that person to tell? : ‘Cos she’s the closest thing I have to a big sister :)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Nope, too long ago.
How did you feel? : Relief.
What was the person’s reaction? : Positive as expected.
What did they say? : She asked me why it had taken me so long because she’d known for years.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Same as before.
What’s it like now? : Same as before!
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Not that I know of, but it wouldn’t concern me if it did happen.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I’m lucky in that I haven’t had any bad experiences with homophobia.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It meant the beginning of the end of the walls I’d built around myself, and I don’t ever intend to let those walls reappear.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : none
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Claustrophobia.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : You will be surprised by the people who are accepting and hurt by the people you thought would be accepting. Just remember that if someone was a “friend” before you came out & then rejects you, that person never was a true friend, because coming out does not change who you are as a person.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Would probably come out earlier, and would not be drunk when telling my parents!
Posted by ulla. Posted In : Lesbian
