Country & city: USA, Central to So. Texas
Name/nickname: P.E.G.
Age: 42
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Bi
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Compassionate, accepting, non-judgmental, fun-loving, humorous
How old were you when you first realized your identity? Oh my, I'm 42! I can't recall! Though many women who aren't bi, like to see porn that involves women on women, I would say that is when I knew there was something different. I was about 16 or so when I started watching my parents porn I found, and much younger when I discovered my brother's stash of porn magazines, in which I would always go to the women on women.
How old were you when you first told someone? About 18 or 19. Growing up when I did, and where I did, it wasn't accepted and I would have been far more of an outcast than I already was.
Did you plan it? If so, how? Yes I planned it. I wanted to experience a woman. So I had to tell my boyfriend at the time, since it would be the three of us.
What made you choose that person to tell? He was just my boyfriend.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No, not exactly, I know I told him I would love to experience a woman's touch.
How did you feel? I felt good that I had told someone. Bad that I couldn't experience it alone. I was scared and felt I needed support, any would be good. But I don't know how I would have gone about it by myself.
What was the person’s reaction? Psyched. Excited. Please he had a dick, what do you expect?
What did they say? Probably something like "HELL YA!" After all, he would love to see me with a woman.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? With the boyfriend I told or the woman I was with? With the boyfriend, non-existent. Turned into a very abusive relationship.... With the woman....what a beautiful memory. We spent a LOT of time together after the first time. I think of her often, wondering where she is and what she is doing now. Obviously, the distance grew great and we have not been in contact with one another since.
What’s it like now? Gone
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? Hasn't happened, hope I will not be betrayed that way, ever.
What happened? N/A
What were peoples’ reactions? N/A
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Never. I have too many lesbians in my family to have ever felt they were different or to be afraid of them. They are the most fabulous people I would want to spend my time with, as far as adults!
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: N/A
Job: N/A
Family: My lesbian relatives know. No one else.
Friends: Few know, if the topic comes up. I am not afraid at all to tell them who I am.
What does being out mean to you? I don't feel out. If it is discussed, I openly talk about it. I can't begin to relate what being "unafraid" of being known would feel like.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None, just the time in which I was growing up and the stigma placed on homosexuality.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Being hidden from the world. Not being able to be who you truly are. I am only bi, I can't imagine what full-fledged homosexuals deal with in this aspect.. It must be horrible. I am glad the world is more accepting now, but we have so much room to grow.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? To be "them", be proud and hold their heads up high. They are who they are. I love them unconditionally and will be there 100% to support them. I would also tell them that no matter what, you are loved, you are not sinning, and you have but ONE judge, your God.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? Sure, I wish I could wear a sign that says "I'm bisexual", but in today's society, it means nothing more than a threesome, kissing or dirty dancing with one another. We must come up with another term for the "real" bisexuals!
If you want me to include a link to your personal and/or professional website, please add that too. You are welcome to link to Boxxxtoys, thanks so much Ulla, this was an incredible experience.