Other
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Bisexual
Country & city: United States
Name/nickname: Other
Age: 19
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Bisexual
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Friend, Family, Colleague
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 16
How old were you when you first told someone? 18
Did you plan it? If so, how? I don’t really remember how “planned” it was, but an old high school friend and I sat down on some random stoop in the city at night and talked things out.
What made you choose that person to tell? She’s always been open about sexuality and I somehow knew she’d accept me.
Can you remember exactly what you said? There was a lot of pausing, but it boiled down to: “Yeah…I’m pretty sure I’m bi. I love Alexis.”
How did you feel? I felt really flustered, because at that point I wasn’t sure if my feelings towards females was from lack of romantic reciprocation from males.
What was the person’s reaction? I think she was a little surprised, but she was more curious about hearing my explanations.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We’re still close friends and she’s the only one so far that I’ve come out to.
What’s it like now? I feel like I can take steps towards being more open about my sexuality now that I’ve accepted that I truly am bi.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. In high school, my aunt was worried that my female ice hockey coach was hitting on me. My coach was just really affectionate overall, but ironically enough I can look back on those times and realize that I really was attracted to her. I also sometimes feel akward about the constant gay jokes that my college friends make because I want to be able to come out to them someday, but worry that they’ll feel uncomfortable around me afterward.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Family: I plan to tell my mother before the year’s end.
Friends: So far just my one high school friend.
What does being out mean to you? For me, it meant having at least one person know how I really feel inside and being accepted by that person. I may tell more people as I travel through life, but I’m a private person overall and my romantic and sexual preferences fall in with that privacy.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? My immediate family consisted of just my mother and I after my parents divorced. She’s always told me to feel comfortable with discussing any important life factors with her, so I think that helps me from letting things completely bottle over. I haven’t come out to her yet because I’ve only recently dropped the bomb about losing my virginity.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? To me the closet is like a box made up of two way mirrors. You can look out at everybody and take in everything, but you’re still shielding a secret that they normally can’t see until you let them.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Tell people at your own pace. To me, it takes a lot of gumption to just kick down the closet door and make yourself completely vulnerable. If you can do that, it’s great. Otherwise, do what feels right in your heart.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I think I would have told my mother earlier on, but only if I was also sure of my bisexuality earlier on.
Name/nickname: Other
Age: 19
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Bisexual
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Friend, Family, Colleague
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 16
How old were you when you first told someone? 18
Did you plan it? If so, how? I don’t really remember how “planned” it was, but an old high school friend and I sat down on some random stoop in the city at night and talked things out.
What made you choose that person to tell? She’s always been open about sexuality and I somehow knew she’d accept me.
Can you remember exactly what you said? There was a lot of pausing, but it boiled down to: “Yeah…I’m pretty sure I’m bi. I love Alexis.”
How did you feel? I felt really flustered, because at that point I wasn’t sure if my feelings towards females was from lack of romantic reciprocation from males.
What was the person’s reaction? I think she was a little surprised, but she was more curious about hearing my explanations.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We’re still close friends and she’s the only one so far that I’ve come out to.
What’s it like now? I feel like I can take steps towards being more open about my sexuality now that I’ve accepted that I truly am bi.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. In high school, my aunt was worried that my female ice hockey coach was hitting on me. My coach was just really affectionate overall, but ironically enough I can look back on those times and realize that I really was attracted to her. I also sometimes feel akward about the constant gay jokes that my college friends make because I want to be able to come out to them someday, but worry that they’ll feel uncomfortable around me afterward.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Family: I plan to tell my mother before the year’s end.
Friends: So far just my one high school friend.
What does being out mean to you? For me, it meant having at least one person know how I really feel inside and being accepted by that person. I may tell more people as I travel through life, but I’m a private person overall and my romantic and sexual preferences fall in with that privacy.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? My immediate family consisted of just my mother and I after my parents divorced. She’s always told me to feel comfortable with discussing any important life factors with her, so I think that helps me from letting things completely bottle over. I haven’t come out to her yet because I’ve only recently dropped the bomb about losing my virginity.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? To me the closet is like a box made up of two way mirrors. You can look out at everybody and take in everything, but you’re still shielding a secret that they normally can’t see until you let them.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Tell people at your own pace. To me, it takes a lot of gumption to just kick down the closet door and make yourself completely vulnerable. If you can do that, it’s great. Otherwise, do what feels right in your heart.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I think I would have told my mother earlier on, but only if I was also sure of my bisexuality earlier on.
In : Bisexual
