Michelle
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Michelle
Country or City you are from: : Cincinnati, USA
Your Age : 36
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 4. didn't know what to call it
How old were you when you first told someone? : 17
Did you plan it? If so, how? : No, I didn't plan it. I had been thinking about it a lot though. When we went out one night, I finally told my best friend.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was my best friend, and I felt that she needed to know. We were pretty much inseparable back then. She said she suspected, but was waiting for me to come out to her. She came out to me that same day. :-)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : "I have something to tell you. I don't know if it will change how you feel about me. I hope it doesn't. I am gay. I have been for a while now."
How did you feel? : I was nervous, but I also felt liberated. It felt good to get it out...to let someone else in. It was hard carrying the "secret"
What was the person’s reaction? : She wasn't really surprised and she came out to me.
What did they say? : "I kind of thought you were, but I wasn't sure. I think I can make you feel better...I am gay also."
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : We became even closer.
What’s it like now? : We are still close, but we live in different cities.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : I was outed unwillingly at my former job, but cannot pinpoint who did it. I started getting emails from former co-workers about my upcoming marriage, but no one can really say who they heard it from first. About 8 people there knew I was gay, so I can't say who did it.
What happened? : As I began to get the emails I just confirmed it, and I haven't gotten any negative feedback. One of my close co-workers told me that the only important thing is that I am happy.
What were peoples’ reactions? : They were accepting; at least when talking to me. I don't know what their conversations were like with others.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I've witnessed homophobia. On my new job only one person knows that I am gay, so I hear a lot of folks making homophobic comments. I comment on them, but I don't think they make the connection that I am gay.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : partly_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : only_friends
What does being out mean to you? : It means being able to share my WHOLE self with my friends, co-workers and family. Being partially in the closet makes me feel that I am not being true to myself. My fear is losing some of the people that I love. I am dealing with that now.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Didn't make any difference at all.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : The concept of the closet to me means a lack of truth to myself. I show the world one side of myself, while the biggest side of me remains in the closet to a great percentage of people.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Be true to yourself first. Make sure you are comfortable coming out. Don't rush into it until you are ready. Coming out is a continual process. There will always be a new friend or family member to tell.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I would do it differently. I would come out to my friends and family up front.
Country or City you are from: : Cincinnati, USA
Your Age : 36
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 4. didn't know what to call it
How old were you when you first told someone? : 17
Did you plan it? If so, how? : No, I didn't plan it. I had been thinking about it a lot though. When we went out one night, I finally told my best friend.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was my best friend, and I felt that she needed to know. We were pretty much inseparable back then. She said she suspected, but was waiting for me to come out to her. She came out to me that same day. :-)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : "I have something to tell you. I don't know if it will change how you feel about me. I hope it doesn't. I am gay. I have been for a while now."
How did you feel? : I was nervous, but I also felt liberated. It felt good to get it out...to let someone else in. It was hard carrying the "secret"
What was the person’s reaction? : She wasn't really surprised and she came out to me.
What did they say? : "I kind of thought you were, but I wasn't sure. I think I can make you feel better...I am gay also."
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : We became even closer.
What’s it like now? : We are still close, but we live in different cities.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : I was outed unwillingly at my former job, but cannot pinpoint who did it. I started getting emails from former co-workers about my upcoming marriage, but no one can really say who they heard it from first. About 8 people there knew I was gay, so I can't say who did it.
What happened? : As I began to get the emails I just confirmed it, and I haven't gotten any negative feedback. One of my close co-workers told me that the only important thing is that I am happy.
What were peoples’ reactions? : They were accepting; at least when talking to me. I don't know what their conversations were like with others.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I've witnessed homophobia. On my new job only one person knows that I am gay, so I hear a lot of folks making homophobic comments. I comment on them, but I don't think they make the connection that I am gay.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : partly_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : only_friends
What does being out mean to you? : It means being able to share my WHOLE self with my friends, co-workers and family. Being partially in the closet makes me feel that I am not being true to myself. My fear is losing some of the people that I love. I am dealing with that now.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Didn't make any difference at all.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : The concept of the closet to me means a lack of truth to myself. I show the world one side of myself, while the biggest side of me remains in the closet to a great percentage of people.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Be true to yourself first. Make sure you are comfortable coming out. Don't rush into it until you are ready. Coming out is a continual process. There will always be a new friend or family member to tell.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I would do it differently. I would come out to my friends and family up front.
In : Lesbian
