Michelle
Posted by ulla on Sunday, February 22, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Michelle
Country or City you are from: : Johannesburg
Your Age : 33
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Human Being. South African. Woman. Partner.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 24
How old were you when you first told someone? : 24
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I didn’t really plan it, I was in a group type workshop and I’d been thinking maybe I was and it kind of came out that I was gay and that was it. The people there just saw me as gay and I was still kind of getting my head around the idea! I haven’t looked back since.
What made you choose that person to tell? : It was time and the situation just lent itself towards it. I pretty much told everyone else after that.
I told my Grandmother deliberately a few months later and that was pretty cool.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I was having difficulty telling her and she told me to spit it out and I said: Granny I am gay. And she said Oh is that all! I thought you were going to ask me for money.
How did you feel? : Everytime I’ve told anyone - and I tell everyone, it always feels like a wall comes down. I can be free to be myself and talk about my life.
What was the person’s reaction? : I’ve mostly had good experiences and have never had real problems.
What did they say? :
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : My relationships with people always improve after I come out - which is why I’m quick to choose a way to do it now. I hardly ever say I’m gay anymore. I’ll talk about my partner or something else and I choose a natural moment. but after I come out, I’m more relaxed and so the relationship is better.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : People knowing I’m a lesbian and me talking about my partner in a way that doesn’t hide the fact that she’s a woman. I guess it’s about being open and completely myself.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? :
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Denying an aspect of who I am.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable people will be with you (for the most part). Come out when it is comfortable for you. It is a big deal but probably not in the way you think!
Country or City you are from: : Johannesburg
Your Age : 33
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Human Being. South African. Woman. Partner.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 24
How old were you when you first told someone? : 24
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I didn’t really plan it, I was in a group type workshop and I’d been thinking maybe I was and it kind of came out that I was gay and that was it. The people there just saw me as gay and I was still kind of getting my head around the idea! I haven’t looked back since.
What made you choose that person to tell? : It was time and the situation just lent itself towards it. I pretty much told everyone else after that.
I told my Grandmother deliberately a few months later and that was pretty cool.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I was having difficulty telling her and she told me to spit it out and I said: Granny I am gay. And she said Oh is that all! I thought you were going to ask me for money.
How did you feel? : Everytime I’ve told anyone - and I tell everyone, it always feels like a wall comes down. I can be free to be myself and talk about my life.
What was the person’s reaction? : I’ve mostly had good experiences and have never had real problems.
What did they say? :
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : My relationships with people always improve after I come out - which is why I’m quick to choose a way to do it now. I hardly ever say I’m gay anymore. I’ll talk about my partner or something else and I choose a natural moment. but after I come out, I’m more relaxed and so the relationship is better.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : People knowing I’m a lesbian and me talking about my partner in a way that doesn’t hide the fact that she’s a woman. I guess it’s about being open and completely myself.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? :
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Denying an aspect of who I am.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable people will be with you (for the most part). Come out when it is comfortable for you. It is a big deal but probably not in the way you think!
In : Lesbian
