Kevin
Posted by ulla on Monday, February 23, 2009
Under: Gay
Name or Nick Name : Kevin
Country or City you are from: : San Francisco
Your Age : 33
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : teens/young
How old were you when you first told someone? : 33
Did you plan it? If so, how? : My friend took me to a movie and dinner for my birthday. We went to see Sex and the City. Afterward we went to have dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and there was nothing really on my mind other than telling my friend I am gay. She kept talking about random things that didn’t matter and I was getting more and more anxious.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She is my best friend, and the person with whom, I had a “friends with benefits” situation at one time (the only woman I ever had sex with.)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Finally, after the appetizers arrived and we’d had several sips of our wine, I had a bite of pizza in my mouth, and I stammered in a very low voice, “Would it come as a surprise to you, if I told you I was gay?”
How did you feel? : Terrified! Anxious! Sick to my stomach!
What was the person’s reaction? : Not surprised. Curious. Supportive.
What did they say? : “Not really, no.”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Immediately after, it was a little strained. I needed to get some space alone. The next time I saw her, everything was fine.
What’s it like now? : Completely normal. Comfortable. More open.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : No one who knows I’m gay has been homophobic with me. Only from my mother who doesn’t know I’m gay. I have of course experienced homophobia when people have made assumptions and comments, but nothing terribly direct and specific.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : are_you_crazy
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : only_friends
What does being out mean to you? : It means being able to be more open and honest with myself and with my closest friends. It means having a chance at a happy future with the love of my life… If I can ever find him.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My religious background made coming out terrifying. It still makes coming out to my family terrifying. It also makes me question and consistently have to reaffirm my true beliefs regarding the morality of homosexuality.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Security, false though it may be. Privacy.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Do it. Despite your fears, just do it. It’s so much better than to live in fear of discovery.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Too soon to tell.
Anything you want to add? : The full version of my first coming out story can be found on my blog…
Country or City you are from: : San Francisco
Your Age : 33
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : teens/young
How old were you when you first told someone? : 33
Did you plan it? If so, how? : My friend took me to a movie and dinner for my birthday. We went to see Sex and the City. Afterward we went to have dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and there was nothing really on my mind other than telling my friend I am gay. She kept talking about random things that didn’t matter and I was getting more and more anxious.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She is my best friend, and the person with whom, I had a “friends with benefits” situation at one time (the only woman I ever had sex with.)
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Finally, after the appetizers arrived and we’d had several sips of our wine, I had a bite of pizza in my mouth, and I stammered in a very low voice, “Would it come as a surprise to you, if I told you I was gay?”
How did you feel? : Terrified! Anxious! Sick to my stomach!
What was the person’s reaction? : Not surprised. Curious. Supportive.
What did they say? : “Not really, no.”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Immediately after, it was a little strained. I needed to get some space alone. The next time I saw her, everything was fine.
What’s it like now? : Completely normal. Comfortable. More open.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : No one who knows I’m gay has been homophobic with me. Only from my mother who doesn’t know I’m gay. I have of course experienced homophobia when people have made assumptions and comments, but nothing terribly direct and specific.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : are_you_crazy
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : only_friends
What does being out mean to you? : It means being able to be more open and honest with myself and with my closest friends. It means having a chance at a happy future with the love of my life… If I can ever find him.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My religious background made coming out terrifying. It still makes coming out to my family terrifying. It also makes me question and consistently have to reaffirm my true beliefs regarding the morality of homosexuality.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Security, false though it may be. Privacy.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Do it. Despite your fears, just do it. It’s so much better than to live in fear of discovery.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Too soon to tell.
Anything you want to add? : The full version of my first coming out story can be found on my blog…
In : Gay
