Jodi
Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Jodi
Country or City you are from: : USA
Your Age : 31
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 28
How old were you when you first told someone? : 28
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I intentionally told my best friend. I knew I could tell her, in fact it wasn’t a decision I really had to make because I tell her everything and I didn’t worry about what she’d think, it didn’t even cross my mind that she would have a problem with it.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She has always been by my side, helped me thru all the hard times in my life, and never ever judged me. I knew she’d love me no matter what.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I was married at the time that I had my first experience with a woman. It wasn’t something I even saw coming. I told my best friend everything as it was happening so really I guess I didn’t actually come out to her, it was more that she was a part of my journey.
How did you feel? : OMG I was so confused. Questioning so many things in my life but having my best friend to share all my thoughts, hopes, fears, feelings, and insecurities with made all the difference. No matter what I knew I wasn’t alone.
What was the person’s reaction? : I definitely think she was surprised. It came out of nowhere. But she just took care of me in whatever way I needed because I wasn’t just coming out, I was ending an 8 year marriage.
What did they say? : She told me that no matter what, we’d figure it out.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Closer than ever.
What’s it like now? : Even closer.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : n/a
What happened? : n/a
What were peoples’ reactions? : With the exception of my husband, everyone was very accepting and eager for me to just be happy. It took time for my now ex-husband to come to terms with things but here we are 3 years later and work together everyday to raise our kids the best we can.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : There were times, in the beginning, that my ex-husband threatened to try to get custody of my kids but I knew it was just out of hurt and anger, and it passed. Other than that I really haven’t experienced any homophobia, thankfully.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : To me being out means living an authentic life. I don’t hide it, it’s who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? :
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : To me, it’s not living an honest life. For some, it’s the only way they can deal because of their environment. For me I din’t really have to fear that. My family is already made up of more non-blood related people and there’s a reason we’ve become family. Because we’re open and like-minded people who have accepted each other for who we are. Even before I came out.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Make sure you have a support system. Surround yourself with people you know love you for you, whoever you may be.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Only thing I would’ve done different would be to have ended my marriage when I knew it was over (which was before my experience with a woman) rather than holding on looking for an answer I already had. It was more confusing and hurtful to go thru both those things at the same time.
Anything you want to add? : If you love yourself, value yourself, and stand up for who you are in the day to day of life, then you will attract people/friends who will accept you.
Country or City you are from: : USA
Your Age : 31
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 28
How old were you when you first told someone? : 28
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I intentionally told my best friend. I knew I could tell her, in fact it wasn’t a decision I really had to make because I tell her everything and I didn’t worry about what she’d think, it didn’t even cross my mind that she would have a problem with it.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She has always been by my side, helped me thru all the hard times in my life, and never ever judged me. I knew she’d love me no matter what.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I was married at the time that I had my first experience with a woman. It wasn’t something I even saw coming. I told my best friend everything as it was happening so really I guess I didn’t actually come out to her, it was more that she was a part of my journey.
How did you feel? : OMG I was so confused. Questioning so many things in my life but having my best friend to share all my thoughts, hopes, fears, feelings, and insecurities with made all the difference. No matter what I knew I wasn’t alone.
What was the person’s reaction? : I definitely think she was surprised. It came out of nowhere. But she just took care of me in whatever way I needed because I wasn’t just coming out, I was ending an 8 year marriage.
What did they say? : She told me that no matter what, we’d figure it out.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Closer than ever.
What’s it like now? : Even closer.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : n/a
What happened? : n/a
What were peoples’ reactions? : With the exception of my husband, everyone was very accepting and eager for me to just be happy. It took time for my now ex-husband to come to terms with things but here we are 3 years later and work together everyday to raise our kids the best we can.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : There were times, in the beginning, that my ex-husband threatened to try to get custody of my kids but I knew it was just out of hurt and anger, and it passed. Other than that I really haven’t experienced any homophobia, thankfully.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : To me being out means living an authentic life. I don’t hide it, it’s who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? :
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : To me, it’s not living an honest life. For some, it’s the only way they can deal because of their environment. For me I din’t really have to fear that. My family is already made up of more non-blood related people and there’s a reason we’ve become family. Because we’re open and like-minded people who have accepted each other for who we are. Even before I came out.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Make sure you have a support system. Surround yourself with people you know love you for you, whoever you may be.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Only thing I would’ve done different would be to have ended my marriage when I knew it was over (which was before my experience with a woman) rather than holding on looking for an answer I already had. It was more confusing and hurtful to go thru both those things at the same time.
Anything you want to add? : If you love yourself, value yourself, and stand up for who you are in the day to day of life, then you will attract people/friends who will accept you.
In : Lesbian
