Hellonhairylegs

Coming out is hard to do ... and there are some amazing stories collected here, from all walks of life, all over Earth. Please consider sharing your story, whether you came out yourself, or somebody else came out to you. For both interviews, there's a standard set of questions plus plenty of space for you to add anything you like, just use either of the aforementioned links - thanks. The interviews are published here and on a South African LGBTQI portal called QueerLife - big ups to them for hosting the online form and supporting the project - don't forget to visit them and see your story there.

Hellonhairylegs

Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009 Under: Lesbian

Country: Australia
Name/nickname: Hellonhairylegs (HHL)
Age: 17
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Radical feminist
How old were you when you first realized your identity? I thought I *could* be bisexual at 14, accepted that I was a lesbian at 16
How old were you when you first told someone? 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? Yes, I planned to tell my friends and siblings after I was sure I was a lesbian. I rehearsed scenarios in my head and told them the first time I was alone.
What made you choose that person to tell? I trusted them and thought that once they knew an actual lesbian they would stop being casually homophobic.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No, but there was a lot of awkward silences, umms and ahhs.
How did you feel? Sad and liberated.
What was the person’s reaction? Not shock.
What did they say? My friends didn’t really say anything. My sisters reaction was “you should tell Mom and Dad”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Those friends drew away from me after that. We hardly talk now. My sisters and I aren’t as close as we once were. They keep on trying to set me up with dudes which isn’t doing wonders for our relationship.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Once I had a bunch of guys drive past me, call me an “Ugly Dyke” and throw something at me. Other than that just the common use of “that’s so gay” and having GLBTQI people as the butt of jokes or violent fantasies.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: Semi- I’ve told everyone who I care about. Whether the school gossip vine has caught on or not I don’t know or care.
Family: Out
Friends: Out
What does being out mean to you? Not having to hear about some mythical boyfriend or husband and kids. Freedom.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Pretty metaphor. For some people, like me, I guess not being open about their sexuality is stifling. I still wish it wasn’t such a huge deal.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wouldn’t have outed myself to my parents until I finish college.