Genderkid
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Transgendered
Country & city: Argentina
Name/nickname: genderkid
Age: 17
Gender: tough question! Genderqueer, maybe male.
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)?: first as lesbian, now as FTM transgender.
What other words would you use to describe yourself? boy, guy, transman, queer
How old were you when you first realized your identity? I realized there was something queer about me when I was 14, and I thought I was lesbian. At 16 I started identifying as trans after seeing a few FTMs on TV/movies (Thomas Beatie, the pregnant man; the character Aggy from Itty Bitty Titty Committee). I didn't know much about transgender before them.
How old were you when you first told someone? I told my friends I was gay at 15, and the next year I told a close friend I was trans.
Did you plan it? If so, how? Not really. I just couldn't hide my thoughts any longer.
What made you choose that person to tell? They were close friends I could trust.
Can you remember exactly what you said? I edged into the subject, rather than splurt it out.
How did you feel? Relieved, I guess, but still confused: both times, I was still coming to terms with myself.
What was the person's reaction? I don't think it came as a surprise :-) But not many people understand the trans part very well; they still call me by female pronouns/names.
What did they say? "Really?"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We stayed friends; nothing really changed either way.
What's it like now? Same thing.
If you've been outed unwillingly, who did it? I was outed as trans at school when I didn't want to come out yet. A very close friend told her friends, but she was just being nice: she wanted to help me with my transition. Now, I'm glad she did it.
What happened? What were peoples' reactions? I don't know yet! I hope things at school don't get messed up. But I'm pretty obviously queer, and people already think I'm a dyke.
If you've experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. When I went out with my girlfriend, we got called "torta! tortillera!" (dyke) several times, including one man who got really angry and started yelling; we walked away fast.
Since coming out, how "out" are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: out to my fellow students as lesbian. My first girlfriend went to my same school and we never hid our relationship. I'm planning on entering college with my male name, and I think people will realize I was born female, so I'll be pretty out (wish me luck!).
Job: never had one yet.
Family: I told my parents I was gay, and fled all further questions. I think they can tell I'm trans, though. We're working on it.
Friends: out to my closest friends as trans; the rest think I'm gay.
What does being out mean to you? Among friends, it means that, eventually, they'll call me by male names and pronouns, and I'll feel like myself among them.
In my family, it means tension, for now.
In the rest of the world, I feel really vulnerable. When I identified as lesbian, I could just avoid mentioning it; but as trans, just presenting by my chosen name would "out" me, unless I physically transition.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I always wonder. Had I been born in a more gender-flexible society, maybe I would be happy identifying as butch lesbian (or not). I try to be happy with what life brought me.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Not being totally honest, but you can't blame us: mainstream society doesn't help much.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? If you're young, I'd say be careful with coming out to your parents; consider how they might react, and if the issue might make family life tense.
But I think coming out to friends is important; if they don't accept you, they aren't worth being around. Still, give people time to get used to your identity.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wouldn't have come out to my parents. Although maybe I saved them a lot of confusion, because I'm really visibly masculine.
Age: 17
Gender: tough question! Genderqueer, maybe male.
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)?: first as lesbian, now as FTM transgender.
What other words would you use to describe yourself? boy, guy, transman, queer
How old were you when you first realized your identity? I realized there was something queer about me when I was 14, and I thought I was lesbian. At 16 I started identifying as trans after seeing a few FTMs on TV/movies (Thomas Beatie, the pregnant man; the character Aggy from Itty Bitty Titty Committee). I didn't know much about transgender before them.
How old were you when you first told someone? I told my friends I was gay at 15, and the next year I told a close friend I was trans.
Did you plan it? If so, how? Not really. I just couldn't hide my thoughts any longer.
What made you choose that person to tell? They were close friends I could trust.
Can you remember exactly what you said? I edged into the subject, rather than splurt it out.
How did you feel? Relieved, I guess, but still confused: both times, I was still coming to terms with myself.
What was the person's reaction? I don't think it came as a surprise :-) But not many people understand the trans part very well; they still call me by female pronouns/names.
What did they say? "Really?"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We stayed friends; nothing really changed either way.
What's it like now? Same thing.
If you've been outed unwillingly, who did it? I was outed as trans at school when I didn't want to come out yet. A very close friend told her friends, but she was just being nice: she wanted to help me with my transition. Now, I'm glad she did it.
What happened? What were peoples' reactions? I don't know yet! I hope things at school don't get messed up. But I'm pretty obviously queer, and people already think I'm a dyke.
If you've experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. When I went out with my girlfriend, we got called "torta! tortillera!" (dyke) several times, including one man who got really angry and started yelling; we walked away fast.
Since coming out, how "out" are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: out to my fellow students as lesbian. My first girlfriend went to my same school and we never hid our relationship. I'm planning on entering college with my male name, and I think people will realize I was born female, so I'll be pretty out (wish me luck!).
Job: never had one yet.
Family: I told my parents I was gay, and fled all further questions. I think they can tell I'm trans, though. We're working on it.
Friends: out to my closest friends as trans; the rest think I'm gay.
What does being out mean to you? Among friends, it means that, eventually, they'll call me by male names and pronouns, and I'll feel like myself among them.
In my family, it means tension, for now.
In the rest of the world, I feel really vulnerable. When I identified as lesbian, I could just avoid mentioning it; but as trans, just presenting by my chosen name would "out" me, unless I physically transition.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I always wonder. Had I been born in a more gender-flexible society, maybe I would be happy identifying as butch lesbian (or not). I try to be happy with what life brought me.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Not being totally honest, but you can't blame us: mainstream society doesn't help much.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? If you're young, I'd say be careful with coming out to your parents; consider how they might react, and if the issue might make family life tense.
But I think coming out to friends is important; if they don't accept you, they aren't worth being around. Still, give people time to get used to your identity.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I wouldn't have come out to my parents. Although maybe I saved them a lot of confusion, because I'm really visibly masculine.
In : Transgendered
