Gaz
Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009
Under: Gay
Name or Nick Name : Gaz
Country or City you are from: : Pietermaritzburg, South Africa
Your Age : 29
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Normal, although somewhat non-conformist.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : Pre pubescent, like 8…
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Sort of. I was involved with an older man. Told me he’d dump me if I didn’t “come out”. Perfect excuse for me.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was the closest to me. My Mother.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : No, but it was in a looong letter. Don’t do confrontation well. I wrote a 5 page letter all about honesty and trust.
How did you feel? : Terrified. Not of my mom, though. My dad, another story.
What was the person’s reaction? : Quiet. I thought I’d get home after the weekend and my things would be on the pavement.
What did they say? : Mom: ” Dear, I’ve known since you were 3!”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Much closer. She now loves my boyfriend.
What’s it like now? : Still very close.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Nope. Always beat them to the post.
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : My boss’ boyfriend. The word “moffie” is the only one in his vocabulary with more that 1 syllable.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : I can be proud of WHO I am. WHAT I am, however, is just an essential part of who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT’S allowed.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : People who think they have a reason to fear telling people close to them about their sexuality. Some of them unfortunately, DO have reason. I find it difficult to comprehend because it was so easy for me.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don’t make a huge issue out of it. It’s a part of you, just like your personality. People who really love you will accept what you are, because they have already accepted WHO you are.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No.
Anything you want to add? : Being open about your sexuality is a right. You don’t see straight people coming out of their closets. Why should we have to hide it?
Country or City you are from: : Pietermaritzburg, South Africa
Your Age : 29
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Normal, although somewhat non-conformist.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : Pre pubescent, like 8…
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Sort of. I was involved with an older man. Told me he’d dump me if I didn’t “come out”. Perfect excuse for me.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was the closest to me. My Mother.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : No, but it was in a looong letter. Don’t do confrontation well. I wrote a 5 page letter all about honesty and trust.
How did you feel? : Terrified. Not of my mom, though. My dad, another story.
What was the person’s reaction? : Quiet. I thought I’d get home after the weekend and my things would be on the pavement.
What did they say? : Mom: ” Dear, I’ve known since you were 3!”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Much closer. She now loves my boyfriend.
What’s it like now? : Still very close.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Nope. Always beat them to the post.
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : My boss’ boyfriend. The word “moffie” is the only one in his vocabulary with more that 1 syllable.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : I can be proud of WHO I am. WHAT I am, however, is just an essential part of who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT’S allowed.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : People who think they have a reason to fear telling people close to them about their sexuality. Some of them unfortunately, DO have reason. I find it difficult to comprehend because it was so easy for me.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don’t make a huge issue out of it. It’s a part of you, just like your personality. People who really love you will accept what you are, because they have already accepted WHO you are.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No.
Anything you want to add? : Being open about your sexuality is a right. You don’t see straight people coming out of their closets. Why should we have to hide it?
In : Gay
