Gaygirl
Posted by ulla on Sunday, February 22, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Gaygirl
Country or City you are from: : Middelburg
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Outgoing and fun person who lives life to the extreme and tries never to hold a grudge
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 15
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Well… to a certain extent. See I fell madly in love with a girl one grade higher than I am, whom i later found out, had just came out to her friend… thus, a befriended her to get close to her so that i could tell her how madly in love i am with her and that i think i might be gay.
What made you choose that person to tell? : Apart from the fact that i was totally in love with her, we became really close to her and i felt that i could trust her.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : mmm… i was really afraid, nervous and down right scared of rejection so it went down like this: i told her that I’m in love with a girl and asked her what i should do about it and how i should tell her. not knowing that it is her that I’m in love with, she suggested that i write the girl a letter. and so i did… i wrote the most romantic letter of my life explaining all the emotions i feel for her. i then asked her to please read it before i give it to the girl (I was so afraid!) she read it, burst into tears and asked me who it is for. at first i told her that it’s for some other non existing girl… she replied that she wished that i wrote it for her. later that afternoon I sent her a sms telling her that it was meant for her but that i was too scared… it was the longest hour of my life! she responded and told me that she felt exactly the same about me!
How did you feel? : i felt relieved and exited and extremely scared all at once, it was like my whole world had come together and fallen apart all at once!!! it was AMAZING!!! until i realized that i don’t have a clue what to do next and how to move forward.
What was the person’s reaction? : Shock, relief and love!!!
What did they say? : well as i have mentioned… she responded that she is just as much in love with me as I am with her and have been for a very long time!
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : We were in love and eventually started dating, it was the best time of my life, we loved each other with our whole hearts and even came out to our parents at the same time. we supported each other through every thing and became known as the first lesbian couple of a very small primitive town. our relationship lasted 21 months.
What’s it like now? : We are dear friends to this day and still talk every day even though we live far apart.
What were peoples’ reactions? : As i have said, we lived in a small town so the reactions went from happy so shock to near heart attacks but both our parents took it very well and still love and support us both.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I once got hit in a bar, by a man. I did not provoke him, i was not even with my girlfriend. he bumped me i stood up and asked him what is problem was, he said that he hates dykes and hit me. even now, the small gay community feels unwelcome at most of the local pubs and bars and clubs and regularly gets thrown out of certain places. (with out behaving in an offensive manner)
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : Being proud of who and what i am and not afraid of showing it and standing up for what i believe in. it taught me a great deal about believing in yourself and your morals.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : It made it rather difficult as I’m from an Afrikaans, Christian family.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Being Trapped and living a big lie… lying to yourself, lying to your loved ones and lying to the world… closet = being unhappy and dishonest.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Take a deep breath, be brave and go for it!
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : nope!!!
Anything you want to add? : Thank you for the opportunity!!!
Country or City you are from: : Middelburg
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Outgoing and fun person who lives life to the extreme and tries never to hold a grudge
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 15
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Well… to a certain extent. See I fell madly in love with a girl one grade higher than I am, whom i later found out, had just came out to her friend… thus, a befriended her to get close to her so that i could tell her how madly in love i am with her and that i think i might be gay.
What made you choose that person to tell? : Apart from the fact that i was totally in love with her, we became really close to her and i felt that i could trust her.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : mmm… i was really afraid, nervous and down right scared of rejection so it went down like this: i told her that I’m in love with a girl and asked her what i should do about it and how i should tell her. not knowing that it is her that I’m in love with, she suggested that i write the girl a letter. and so i did… i wrote the most romantic letter of my life explaining all the emotions i feel for her. i then asked her to please read it before i give it to the girl (I was so afraid!) she read it, burst into tears and asked me who it is for. at first i told her that it’s for some other non existing girl… she replied that she wished that i wrote it for her. later that afternoon I sent her a sms telling her that it was meant for her but that i was too scared… it was the longest hour of my life! she responded and told me that she felt exactly the same about me!
How did you feel? : i felt relieved and exited and extremely scared all at once, it was like my whole world had come together and fallen apart all at once!!! it was AMAZING!!! until i realized that i don’t have a clue what to do next and how to move forward.
What was the person’s reaction? : Shock, relief and love!!!
What did they say? : well as i have mentioned… she responded that she is just as much in love with me as I am with her and have been for a very long time!
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : We were in love and eventually started dating, it was the best time of my life, we loved each other with our whole hearts and even came out to our parents at the same time. we supported each other through every thing and became known as the first lesbian couple of a very small primitive town. our relationship lasted 21 months.
What’s it like now? : We are dear friends to this day and still talk every day even though we live far apart.
What were peoples’ reactions? : As i have said, we lived in a small town so the reactions went from happy so shock to near heart attacks but both our parents took it very well and still love and support us both.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I once got hit in a bar, by a man. I did not provoke him, i was not even with my girlfriend. he bumped me i stood up and asked him what is problem was, he said that he hates dykes and hit me. even now, the small gay community feels unwelcome at most of the local pubs and bars and clubs and regularly gets thrown out of certain places. (with out behaving in an offensive manner)
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : Being proud of who and what i am and not afraid of showing it and standing up for what i believe in. it taught me a great deal about believing in yourself and your morals.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : It made it rather difficult as I’m from an Afrikaans, Christian family.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Being Trapped and living a big lie… lying to yourself, lying to your loved ones and lying to the world… closet = being unhappy and dishonest.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Take a deep breath, be brave and go for it!
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : nope!!!
Anything you want to add? : Thank you for the opportunity!!!
In : Lesbian
