Emily
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Queer
Name or Nick Name : Emily
Country or City you are from: : Portland, Maine, USA
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Queer
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : I use the term “butchfemme” because it fits me. also feisty, sarcastic, and I’m a definite Taurus (;
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : my whole life
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : In all of about 10 minutes. I just decided I wanted to tell someone, and she (my mom’s partner) was home. (It helped that she was gay.)
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was home.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I sat on the couch in the living room while she was making dinner in the kitchen and said “So… uhm. I like girls.”
How did you feel? : I was really actually nervous, which was weird, because it’s not like she was going to have a negative reaction, just… it was the actually admitting it out loud part. I wasn’t going to be able to take it back. It scared me a little, but made me feel good at the same time.
What was the person’s reaction? : She wasn’t surprised at all.
What did they say? : “Yeah, I was waiting for that.”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : The same as it was before; stepmother/daughterish.
What’s it like now? : The same. Better actually, we can relate to each other very well.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : n/a
What happened? : n/a
What were peoples’ reactions? : n/a
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : People driving past, shouting “Dyke” out the window while throwing things at me/spitting at me, some really nasty looks while in public with my partner, people edging away like we might be contagious. All very mature, really.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : Not being afraid to show people who you are and who you love. Embracing and loving your whole self and not letting anyone tell you any differently.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Well, my mum and older sister are both gay, so that helped.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Having to lie about who you are.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don’t hold back, and don’t let people make you feel bad about who you are. It’s not something you can change, and you’re not making them change for you, so they shouldn’t want you to change for them.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Not really. I might have told my mum first, but my family pretty much knew from the time I was 5, it was just confirming it.
Country or City you are from: : Portland, Maine, USA
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Queer
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : I use the term “butchfemme” because it fits me. also feisty, sarcastic, and I’m a definite Taurus (;
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : my whole life
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : In all of about 10 minutes. I just decided I wanted to tell someone, and she (my mom’s partner) was home. (It helped that she was gay.)
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was home.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : I sat on the couch in the living room while she was making dinner in the kitchen and said “So… uhm. I like girls.”
How did you feel? : I was really actually nervous, which was weird, because it’s not like she was going to have a negative reaction, just… it was the actually admitting it out loud part. I wasn’t going to be able to take it back. It scared me a little, but made me feel good at the same time.
What was the person’s reaction? : She wasn’t surprised at all.
What did they say? : “Yeah, I was waiting for that.”
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : The same as it was before; stepmother/daughterish.
What’s it like now? : The same. Better actually, we can relate to each other very well.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : n/a
What happened? : n/a
What were peoples’ reactions? : n/a
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : People driving past, shouting “Dyke” out the window while throwing things at me/spitting at me, some really nasty looks while in public with my partner, people edging away like we might be contagious. All very mature, really.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : Not being afraid to show people who you are and who you love. Embracing and loving your whole self and not letting anyone tell you any differently.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Well, my mum and older sister are both gay, so that helped.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Having to lie about who you are.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don’t hold back, and don’t let people make you feel bad about who you are. It’s not something you can change, and you’re not making them change for you, so they shouldn’t want you to change for them.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : Not really. I might have told my mum first, but my family pretty much knew from the time I was 5, it was just confirming it.
In : Queer
