Name or Nick Name : Elle
Country or City you are from: : USA
Your Age : 36
Your Gender : female
What did you come out as? : lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 21
How old were you when you first told someone? : 26
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I didn’t plan it. I was going through a bad break-up and I told my sister.
What made you choose that person to tell? :It would explain why I was a mess.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : You know how me and N are good friends. She has been my girlfriend all these years and a cheat.
How did you feel? : Relieved to tell someone
What was the person’s reaction? : My sister was pissed I kept it to myself and concerned.
What did they say? : She said she loved me and I never had to keep secrets.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : very supportive.
What’s it like now? : Still very supportive.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : My ex best friend
What happened? : She told my cousin I was gay.
What were peoples’ reactions? : My cousin was upset she told me and he told me it was okay. He told me to be happy.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I experience it every day but especially since trying to have a baby. Black people act nuts about homosexuality. Read my blog about it.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : only_friends
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : partly_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : only_friends
What does being out mean to you? : For me, being out as “lesbian” is being out everywhere and having a lesbian or gay identity.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Black people are terribly homophobic and religious. It made my coming out difficult.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Being in the closet means not being able to live openly gay.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Do what you feel. Recognize you may lose some friends so find a support system for yourself. And regardless what happens when you come out, because it will be difficult, it is freeing for you.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No, would not change a thing. It is what it is.
Anything you want to add? : Visit 5heartbeats.blogspot.com for my life as a Black Professional lesbian