Elizabeth
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Name or Nick Name : Elizabeth
Country or City you are from: : USA
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Child of God, Follower of Christ, Musician, a little crazy (in a fun sort of way), and a thinker.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 21
How old were you when you first told someone? : 21
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I’m mostly a closeted lesbian. The only other person who knows about me happens to be my girlfriend. She told me she was struggling with an extreme attraction to me. I told her I still totally accepted her, and after that we became really close friends. That friendship developed into a beautiful relationship. So, I’ve really only come out to myself and to her. (To read my story on this, visit my blog here)
What made you choose that person to tell? : She had told me about her attraction to me, and I found myself extremely attracted to her as well.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : She assumed I was straight, and I was denying ever feeling attracted to girls. It wasn’t until after we had started kissing each other that I realized what we had was way more than mentioned in Katy Perry’s song I Kissed a Girl.
How did you feel? : I felt like for once in my life I was actually being real with myself and one other person. That felt nice. Figuring out how to deal with everyone else has made me feel a bit anxious, but I consider myself, in time, up to the challenge.
What was the person’s reaction? : She wanted to make sure she “didn’t influence me” to become a lesbian. I assured her it wasn’t her, and that I had just been denying it my entire life.
What did they say? : I can’t remember. We just talked things over about the Bible and homosexuality, God’s view on our relationship, etc.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : It has been great!!! We want to get married in the future.
What’s it like now? : See above.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : We’ve been so careful, no one has found out about it yet.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : When we go on trips out of town where people we know won’t see us, we hold hands and stuff in public. We get double takes and stares, but that’s really about it since we aren’t out with the rest of the world yet.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : not_out
What does being out mean to you? : It means being completely open with anyone and everyone about my relationship with my girlfriend. It means us being able to openly express our love in public without fear.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I’m in the South and have been raised in a very conservative, religious family. While I’m thankful for my religious upbringing (I very much love God), tradition has taught that homosexuality is unnatural and sinful. It is this belief that keeps me hiding.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : The closet is hiding from yourself and/or the rest of the world one’s true feelings about his or her sexuality.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : I wish I had some as I have yet to come out to anyone except myself and my girlfriend.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : This will be better answered in the future when I officially come out to the world.
Anything you want to add? : I am actually a student at a very conservative Bible college. If my girlfriend and I were “found out” we’d be kicked out immediately. It is this main thing that keeps me hiding and in the closet. If I were not so close to graduating, I would probably just transfer schools, but I do feel God called me to this school and intend to finish my undergraduate studies there.
Country or City you are from: : USA
Your Age : 21
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Child of God, Follower of Christ, Musician, a little crazy (in a fun sort of way), and a thinker.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 21
How old were you when you first told someone? : 21
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I’m mostly a closeted lesbian. The only other person who knows about me happens to be my girlfriend. She told me she was struggling with an extreme attraction to me. I told her I still totally accepted her, and after that we became really close friends. That friendship developed into a beautiful relationship. So, I’ve really only come out to myself and to her. (To read my story on this, visit my blog here)
What made you choose that person to tell? : She had told me about her attraction to me, and I found myself extremely attracted to her as well.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : She assumed I was straight, and I was denying ever feeling attracted to girls. It wasn’t until after we had started kissing each other that I realized what we had was way more than mentioned in Katy Perry’s song I Kissed a Girl.
How did you feel? : I felt like for once in my life I was actually being real with myself and one other person. That felt nice. Figuring out how to deal with everyone else has made me feel a bit anxious, but I consider myself, in time, up to the challenge.
What was the person’s reaction? : She wanted to make sure she “didn’t influence me” to become a lesbian. I assured her it wasn’t her, and that I had just been denying it my entire life.
What did they say? : I can’t remember. We just talked things over about the Bible and homosexuality, God’s view on our relationship, etc.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : It has been great!!! We want to get married in the future.
What’s it like now? : See above.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : We’ve been so careful, no one has found out about it yet.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : When we go on trips out of town where people we know won’t see us, we hold hands and stuff in public. We get double takes and stares, but that’s really about it since we aren’t out with the rest of the world yet.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : not_out
What does being out mean to you? : It means being completely open with anyone and everyone about my relationship with my girlfriend. It means us being able to openly express our love in public without fear.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I’m in the South and have been raised in a very conservative, religious family. While I’m thankful for my religious upbringing (I very much love God), tradition has taught that homosexuality is unnatural and sinful. It is this belief that keeps me hiding.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : The closet is hiding from yourself and/or the rest of the world one’s true feelings about his or her sexuality.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : I wish I had some as I have yet to come out to anyone except myself and my girlfriend.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : This will be better answered in the future when I officially come out to the world.
Anything you want to add? : I am actually a student at a very conservative Bible college. If my girlfriend and I were “found out” we’d be kicked out immediately. It is this main thing that keeps me hiding and in the closet. If I were not so close to graduating, I would probably just transfer schools, but I do feel God called me to this school and intend to finish my undergraduate studies there.
In : Lesbian
