Name or Nick Name : Elaine
Country or City you are from: : England

Your Age : 18
Your Gender : Female
What did you come out as? : Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? :
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : 17
How old were you when you first told someone? : 17 (I moved fast)
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Not really. It was a very messy coming out because I spent a lot of time secretly thinking I was bisexual between eleven and seventeen. But after I fell in love with a girl and had my heart brutally crushed, I did some serious thinking and started telling people I knew I gay.
What made you choose that person to tell? : I think the first person I really told was one of my closest friends, Ellen. I chose her because she already knew I liked women, but didn’t realise it was just them. She seemed like the natural person to confide in, being incredibly cool and all.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : Something along the lines of “Err, I think I don’t like men. At all”.
How did you feel? : Terrified! I was scared she and other people wouldn’t believe me.
What was the person’s reaction? : Very supportive, though she did ask a few questions. I didn’t mind them because I knew I was sure.
What did they say? : “That’s cool”. She’s a star.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Fine. Just fine.
What’s it like now? : Good. There have been a few times where she’s done or said things concerning sexuality that have irritated me, but it’s just as good as it was.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? :
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : Hmm, once. I was enrolling and was angry at the queue jumpers, and one of them remarked that “dykes are getting uglier and uglier nowadays”. I swore at her.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : not_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : partly_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : It’s a relief. No more pretending, no more assumptions about you on the part of other people.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : I’m not religious, and England is quite a tolerant country: both of these things made it less complicated.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : Lying, missing out, being afraid, every step out seeming gigantic and being convinced you can’t do it. It’s very dark in there.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Do it: it gets incredibly easy after a few tries. Don’t be put off if you have negative reactions, and be proud of who you are. Your quality of life is improved and you might even get set up on a few hot dates (it happens).
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I think I’d want to do it more cleanly- all at once. I’d like to be able to wave a magic wand and have all the people I care about just *know*.
Anything you want to add? : I’m looking forward to going to university where I can be out from the start.