(Originally published on QueerLife - By Ulla Kelly)

Since the Coming Out Stories project started, I’ve been pondering the concept of closets and coming out of them. It’s so much bigger than sexuality, I think. It feels like coming out to tell people I have PTSD and am on anti-depressants.

When I tell local people I’m a Buddhist they react as if I just said I was gay/alien/mad. Those three things are not synonyms. My conclusion is that you don’t have to be LGBTQ to come out.

I’ll translate that acronym for you, just in case: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer. You can google them if you want accurate definitions. The Q is a recent-ish addition. As time goes by, definitions and distinctions get more complex. I hope it’s part of the journey towards more solidarity, as people are encouraged to adopt whatever identity and labels they like. Are humans capable of it though? I was chatting to a newly-out gay man last night who said that one thing he’d noticed is the divide between lesbians and gay men. And I am willing to go out on a limb here and make yet another generalization by saying that there is prejudice towards bisexuals within the lesbian community.

The solution is obvious, and is sung to the tune of, “Why can’t we just get along?” The reality is that people, especially people under pressure, tend to get tribal. It’s a perfectly understandable defence mechanism and I reckon it’s as old as caves. With the change in family and community focus in modern times, we end up forming other alliances. Without homophobia, homosexuals would have to stick together quite so much.

So it’s the mainstream bulk of society that causes secrets and shame and fear. It’s them who created the closet and the need to emerge from it. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have to, would we? We’d grow up, experiment, make choices or not and that would be that. None of it should matter as much as it appears to. Without homophobic violence and legislation, none of it would.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be building a ghetto for Post Traumatic Stress Disordered Buddhist Dyke Write Photographer Indie Music Fans Who Enjoy Naps And The Ocean.