Bobby
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Gay
Country & city: USA/ Phoenix, AZ
Name/nickname: Bobby
Age: 24
Gender: Male
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Gay
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 16
How old were you when you first told someone? 19
Did you plan it? If so, how? No, I was on a phone call with my cousin and I kind of slipped it into the conversation.
What made you choose that person to tell? She’s not living near anyone in my family. She’s in Philadelphia, my family is in New York and I was living in Washington, DC at the time. So, I knew I could trust her and she isn’t the type to go running to tell the world.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No I can’t. Kind of one of those shock moments.
How did you feel? Relieved.
What was the person’s reaction? There was none, no shock, no questions, just “oh, okay”
What did they say? That she kind of knew since I’ve never had a girlfriend (really? thats how? :P ) and not to worry because theres gay relatives in my family, all of
which, I didn’t even know about.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? The same.
What’s it like now? Still the Same.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example: I was working at flight when I was working for US Airways going from Las Vegas to Chicago, and of the 4 flight attendants 3 of us were gay males. One of them got into an argument with a passenger, and she blurted out the word “faggot” — the F/A went nuts cursing her out and telling her off. In front of everyone. We got him under control, and I went back over to the passenger and told her she was out of line and didn’t need to use the tone or language that she did. Her response was “well what do you expect when they stick me in a tube with homos!?” I realized there was no getting to her. I flat out said to her “your ignorance won’t be tolerated onboard my aircraft” and at the same time I finished that sentence, the whole cabin around her broke out in a round of applause. I was shocked.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: None.
Job: Totally
Family: Everyone, but my father. He doesn’t want to admit it.
Friends: All of them
What does being out mean to you? Being me. All the time.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Constantly wearing a disguise so no one sees the real you.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Pick your closest friend, or someone you trust and know won’t go screaming your news to the world. Tell them. You’ll be surprised at their reaction.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? Nope. Actually, when I decided to tell my mother we were driving. I had just flown in from Los Angeles and left the magazines I was reading on the plane on the kitchen table. In the car, I told my mother: “oh no! I left the magazines on the table, and Grandma is staying with us and may get the wrong idea since on one of the covers the headline was “why we dont care if you think we’re gay” (about Metro-Sexuals). My mom’s response? “So what? I don’t care if you’re gay, your grandparents won’t.. it doesn’t matter. You can just say it. Who could ask for an easier coming out experience with your mother?
Name/nickname: Bobby
Age: 24
Gender: Male
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Gay
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 16
How old were you when you first told someone? 19
Did you plan it? If so, how? No, I was on a phone call with my cousin and I kind of slipped it into the conversation.
What made you choose that person to tell? She’s not living near anyone in my family. She’s in Philadelphia, my family is in New York and I was living in Washington, DC at the time. So, I knew I could trust her and she isn’t the type to go running to tell the world.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No I can’t. Kind of one of those shock moments.
How did you feel? Relieved.
What was the person’s reaction? There was none, no shock, no questions, just “oh, okay”
What did they say? That she kind of knew since I’ve never had a girlfriend (really? thats how? :P ) and not to worry because theres gay relatives in my family, all of
which, I didn’t even know about.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? The same.
What’s it like now? Still the Same.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example: I was working at flight when I was working for US Airways going from Las Vegas to Chicago, and of the 4 flight attendants 3 of us were gay males. One of them got into an argument with a passenger, and she blurted out the word “faggot” — the F/A went nuts cursing her out and telling her off. In front of everyone. We got him under control, and I went back over to the passenger and told her she was out of line and didn’t need to use the tone or language that she did. Her response was “well what do you expect when they stick me in a tube with homos!?” I realized there was no getting to her. I flat out said to her “your ignorance won’t be tolerated onboard my aircraft” and at the same time I finished that sentence, the whole cabin around her broke out in a round of applause. I was shocked.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: None.
Job: Totally
Family: Everyone, but my father. He doesn’t want to admit it.
Friends: All of them
What does being out mean to you? Being me. All the time.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Constantly wearing a disguise so no one sees the real you.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Pick your closest friend, or someone you trust and know won’t go screaming your news to the world. Tell them. You’ll be surprised at their reaction.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? Nope. Actually, when I decided to tell my mother we were driving. I had just flown in from Los Angeles and left the magazines I was reading on the plane on the kitchen table. In the car, I told my mother: “oh no! I left the magazines on the table, and Grandma is staying with us and may get the wrong idea since on one of the covers the headline was “why we dont care if you think we’re gay” (about Metro-Sexuals). My mom’s response? “So what? I don’t care if you’re gay, your grandparents won’t.. it doesn’t matter. You can just say it. Who could ask for an easier coming out experience with your mother?
In : Gay
