b
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Transgendered
Country & city: finland, helsinki (i am originally from warner robins, georgia in the u.s.)
Name/nickname: b
Age: 27
Gender: male
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? transgendered
What other words would you use to describe yourself? queer, pansexual, trannyboy, empath
How old were you when you first realized your identity? when i was 5 i told people i was going to grow up to be a boy. i always knew i was a boy, but i didnt understand what was wrong with my body. i was much older before i heard of the term transgender and thats when i knew i finally had an identity.
How old were you when you first told someone? i came out to a friend of mine as trans when i was 19
Did you plan it? If so, how? i hadnt planned it. my best friend and i were smoking pot and recording a day in our life. then he randomly asked why i wanted to be a boy. i think we still have that on videotape somewhere. haha.
What made you choose that person to tell? he asked and i knew that was my opportunity to get it off of my chest.
Can you remember exactly what you said? i think my initial answer was, *humping the ground* ‘i wanna be a boy so i can fuck girls in the assssss!’. then we had a good laugh and i said, ’seriously though, i don’t want to be a boy, i am a boy.’
How did you feel? i felt happy that someone understood and was okay with it. it wasn’t until later in my life when i started coming out to more people that i felt hurt and discriminated against.
What was the person’s reaction? he just smiled
What did they say? ‘i know’
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? we are still best friends. he recently came out as transgendered also.
What’s it like now? i love him. we are best friends and we always have each other no matter what. we live in different countries now and that makes it really hard sometimes. we have seen each other at our highest and lowest and we have stuck together through it all.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? i suppose i unwillingly outed myself in a way.
What happened? my aunt is a nurse/midwife and i had written her an email to ask her if she knew of any doctors in our town who would know anything about trans issues. i chose my aunt because she is one of the most open minded people in my family and i knew that she would not disown me no matter what my decision was. my dad was over at her house one day and her email was up on the computer. while my dad was looking up something online, he took it upon himself to read her email when he saw my name on it. i had no idea about all of this. my mom called to tell me that my dad was acting weird and when she confronted him, he told her what he had read and that it sickened him. my mom called to give me fair warning that he did know and that she wasn’t the one who told him.
What were peoples’ reactions? my brother said he was happy that i was finally figuring out who i was. my mom cried, said she wasnt surprised, and then said she loved me, but would not support my decision. my dad has never really said anything. most of my family knows, but they dont talk about it. most of my friends were supportive and still are.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. one night i was walking to my mailbox in my apartment complex when i heard this guy talking. i wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or not and so i just kept walking like i didn’t hear him. he could have been drunk or on the phone or just asking for a cigarette, but i wasn’t curious enough to engage him. i got the mail, went back home, and then decided to go to the corner store for some cigarettes. i got to the store and saw the same guy standing outside by the door. i walked in, made my purchase and just acted like i didn’t see him there. when i came out of the store, he hollered , ‘fucking dyke’ at me. i was offended. i am not even female! ha. so i said, ‘what the fuck did you just call me?’ and he repeated himself. i got to my car and then realised i needed to go back in for something. not thinking anything of it. i thought the issue was settled. when i came back out of the store he came around the door and punched my in the mouth and then elbowed me in the side of the face. i took off running to my car and got the hell out of there. i come from the deep south. the bible belt. i want about to try and defend myself and end up left for dead in the front of a corner store.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life: Educational institution: i am not currently in school.
Job: i am not currently employed. at my previous job, i was out to all of my managers and some coworkers. most of them just thought i was another guy. i only felt the need to come out to people who would boldly as me if i used to be a girl. ‘no, i have never been a girl. i just had some issues with my genitals when i was born.’ that confuses the hell out of them.
Family: my parents and my brother know. some of my aunts and uncles. none of my grandparents know. Friends:
What does being out mean to you? mostly, being out feels liberating. it feels nice to know who i am and to be proud of who i am. to know that i can be an influence to someone who is struggling with their identity. to know that i can offer a shoulder or an ear to someone who just needs to get it all out. sometimes, like when i am around my family, being out feels like suffocating.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? most of my family consists of conservative christians. it has definitely affected me. even though i am an atheist and now live in a different country, i still find it hard to be out to my family because i am never allowed to share my happiness with them.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? fear, self hatred, self destruction
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? you may lose friends and you may lose family, but you have to be true to yourself. otherwise, you may live a lifetime of regret inside and you may end up hurting yourself worse than it would hurt your friends or family to know you are lgbtq. don’t tell them in a selfish way. be understanding that they may be hurt by it. try to make them understand that in order for you to love yourself and to be happy with who you are that you need to take this step in your life. give them time and have patience if they dont accept your decision right away.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? i don’t think that i would. if i really got down to tiny details of all of my coming out, im sure i would find things i could possibly regret. overall, i am just happy to be out and true to myself whether or not people accept me or not.
Personal sites: youtube , blog
Name/nickname: b
Age: 27
Gender: male
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? transgendered
What other words would you use to describe yourself? queer, pansexual, trannyboy, empath
How old were you when you first realized your identity? when i was 5 i told people i was going to grow up to be a boy. i always knew i was a boy, but i didnt understand what was wrong with my body. i was much older before i heard of the term transgender and thats when i knew i finally had an identity.
How old were you when you first told someone? i came out to a friend of mine as trans when i was 19
Did you plan it? If so, how? i hadnt planned it. my best friend and i were smoking pot and recording a day in our life. then he randomly asked why i wanted to be a boy. i think we still have that on videotape somewhere. haha.
What made you choose that person to tell? he asked and i knew that was my opportunity to get it off of my chest.
Can you remember exactly what you said? i think my initial answer was, *humping the ground* ‘i wanna be a boy so i can fuck girls in the assssss!’. then we had a good laugh and i said, ’seriously though, i don’t want to be a boy, i am a boy.’
How did you feel? i felt happy that someone understood and was okay with it. it wasn’t until later in my life when i started coming out to more people that i felt hurt and discriminated against.
What was the person’s reaction? he just smiled
What did they say? ‘i know’
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? we are still best friends. he recently came out as transgendered also.
What’s it like now? i love him. we are best friends and we always have each other no matter what. we live in different countries now and that makes it really hard sometimes. we have seen each other at our highest and lowest and we have stuck together through it all.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? i suppose i unwillingly outed myself in a way.
What happened? my aunt is a nurse/midwife and i had written her an email to ask her if she knew of any doctors in our town who would know anything about trans issues. i chose my aunt because she is one of the most open minded people in my family and i knew that she would not disown me no matter what my decision was. my dad was over at her house one day and her email was up on the computer. while my dad was looking up something online, he took it upon himself to read her email when he saw my name on it. i had no idea about all of this. my mom called to tell me that my dad was acting weird and when she confronted him, he told her what he had read and that it sickened him. my mom called to give me fair warning that he did know and that she wasn’t the one who told him.
What were peoples’ reactions? my brother said he was happy that i was finally figuring out who i was. my mom cried, said she wasnt surprised, and then said she loved me, but would not support my decision. my dad has never really said anything. most of my family knows, but they dont talk about it. most of my friends were supportive and still are.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. one night i was walking to my mailbox in my apartment complex when i heard this guy talking. i wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or not and so i just kept walking like i didn’t hear him. he could have been drunk or on the phone or just asking for a cigarette, but i wasn’t curious enough to engage him. i got the mail, went back home, and then decided to go to the corner store for some cigarettes. i got to the store and saw the same guy standing outside by the door. i walked in, made my purchase and just acted like i didn’t see him there. when i came out of the store, he hollered , ‘fucking dyke’ at me. i was offended. i am not even female! ha. so i said, ‘what the fuck did you just call me?’ and he repeated himself. i got to my car and then realised i needed to go back in for something. not thinking anything of it. i thought the issue was settled. when i came back out of the store he came around the door and punched my in the mouth and then elbowed me in the side of the face. i took off running to my car and got the hell out of there. i come from the deep south. the bible belt. i want about to try and defend myself and end up left for dead in the front of a corner store.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life: Educational institution: i am not currently in school.
Job: i am not currently employed. at my previous job, i was out to all of my managers and some coworkers. most of them just thought i was another guy. i only felt the need to come out to people who would boldly as me if i used to be a girl. ‘no, i have never been a girl. i just had some issues with my genitals when i was born.’ that confuses the hell out of them.
Family: my parents and my brother know. some of my aunts and uncles. none of my grandparents know. Friends:
What does being out mean to you? mostly, being out feels liberating. it feels nice to know who i am and to be proud of who i am. to know that i can be an influence to someone who is struggling with their identity. to know that i can offer a shoulder or an ear to someone who just needs to get it all out. sometimes, like when i am around my family, being out feels like suffocating.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? most of my family consists of conservative christians. it has definitely affected me. even though i am an atheist and now live in a different country, i still find it hard to be out to my family because i am never allowed to share my happiness with them.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? fear, self hatred, self destruction
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? you may lose friends and you may lose family, but you have to be true to yourself. otherwise, you may live a lifetime of regret inside and you may end up hurting yourself worse than it would hurt your friends or family to know you are lgbtq. don’t tell them in a selfish way. be understanding that they may be hurt by it. try to make them understand that in order for you to love yourself and to be happy with who you are that you need to take this step in your life. give them time and have patience if they dont accept your decision right away.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? i don’t think that i would. if i really got down to tiny details of all of my coming out, im sure i would find things i could possibly regret. overall, i am just happy to be out and true to myself whether or not people accept me or not.
Personal sites: youtube , blog
In : Transgendered
