Ace
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009
Under: Lesbian
Country & city: Jhb, South Africa
Name/nickname: Ace
Age: 21
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Quirky, passionate, determined, strong-willed, caring, me
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 18
How old were you when you first told someone? 18
Did you plan it? If so, how? No
What made you choose that person to tell? I was heartbroken and confused after the girl I fell for found out I like her and publicly shunned me. I went to a friend who was bi because I had no one who I thought would understand.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No not really… just an account of what I felt for the girl and how she had treated me,
How did you feel? Scared, confused, hurt
What was the person’s reaction? She acted like she cared and tried to comfort me.
What did they say? That she had suspected I had a crush on this girl and had told her because she thought I’d be good for her.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Strained… I felt betrayed.
What’s it like now? We haven’t spoken in over a year and a half
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? Yes
What happened? A friend asked her mother advice on how I should come out to family.
What were peoples’ reactions?: Not sure, I wasn’t there.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Nothing overt or violent, only ignorant people saying ignorant things.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: Out
Job: n/a
Family: Out to immediate family
Friends: Out
What does being out mean to you? I don’t believe one has a single coming out story. For some, every day is another part of the process. For me, this has been the case. It means being absolutely honest with yourself and being proud of the person you are. It’s really hard doing this if you cannot be honest with those people you love.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? A heavy state of being.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Make sure you have a strong support base and seek help if you need help coping. If and when you come out to the folks, make sure you are financially able to support yourself if the reaction is extreme.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would wait until I finished my studies and was settled financially to tell my parents.
Name/nickname: Ace
Age: 21
Gender: Female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? Lesbian
What other words would you use to describe yourself? Quirky, passionate, determined, strong-willed, caring, me
How old were you when you first realized your identity? 18
How old were you when you first told someone? 18
Did you plan it? If so, how? No
What made you choose that person to tell? I was heartbroken and confused after the girl I fell for found out I like her and publicly shunned me. I went to a friend who was bi because I had no one who I thought would understand.
Can you remember exactly what you said? No not really… just an account of what I felt for the girl and how she had treated me,
How did you feel? Scared, confused, hurt
What was the person’s reaction? She acted like she cared and tried to comfort me.
What did they say? That she had suspected I had a crush on this girl and had told her because she thought I’d be good for her.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? Strained… I felt betrayed.
What’s it like now? We haven’t spoken in over a year and a half
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? Yes
What happened? A friend asked her mother advice on how I should come out to family.
What were peoples’ reactions?: Not sure, I wasn’t there.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Nothing overt or violent, only ignorant people saying ignorant things.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: Out
Job: n/a
Family: Out to immediate family
Friends: Out
What does being out mean to you? I don’t believe one has a single coming out story. For some, every day is another part of the process. For me, this has been the case. It means being absolutely honest with yourself and being proud of the person you are. It’s really hard doing this if you cannot be honest with those people you love.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? None
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? A heavy state of being.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? Make sure you have a strong support base and seek help if you need help coping. If and when you come out to the folks, make sure you are financially able to support yourself if the reaction is extreme.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would wait until I finished my studies and was settled financially to tell my parents.
In : Lesbian
