Get Your Queer On!

Name/nickname: mayjbird
Gender: female
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)? dyke
What other words would you use to describe yourself? queer
How old were you when you first realized your identity? probably end of grade school
How old were you when you first told someone? When I was 13 years old.
Did you plan it? If so, how? I didn't, but I'm glad it wasn't pre-meditated... I might have chickened out.
What made you choose that person to tell? I was in an all girls choir that was touring Canada, we spent a lot of time on buses. One of the girls and I sat together for a couple hours one afternoon, she was a couple years older then me, and she told me that she had a crush on one of the other girls in the choir. It was the first time I heard another woman say that they had feelings like that. It was an immediate intimacy between us, that someone else felt like I did, I wasn't alone.
Can you remember exactly what you said?  I heard myself say out loud for the first time that I had feelings for my best friend, a girl.
How did you feel? I felt normal for the first time, but mostly honest. I didn't have to lie about having a crush on a boy.
What was the person’s reaction? She didn't realize that this was an experience for me, and chatted away...
What did they say? She asked all about the girl I was crazy for.
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? We were friends for the summer, but she went away to school. Funny enough we ran into each other recently and went on a few dates. 
What’s it like now? I'm comfortable in my skin.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it?  When I officially was out to everyone, not just my close friends, it was not by choice.
What happened? My senior year of high school I broke up with my high school sweetheart, needless to say she did not take it well. She posted pictures of us kissing, holding hands on the Internet, with the caption, "she's a dyke, I fucked her and she liked it"
What were peoples’ reactions? Not good, I lived in a very conservative city, and I was very involved in my high school. I lost almost all of my friends that weren't gay. I ended up graduating at semester.
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. Besides that experience at my high school, in my adult life I've found most people to be generally accepting. I've actually experienced what I consider homophobic from some girls I've dated, sometimes I can be very femme in appearance, if I choose to be that way. This does not it anyway define my sexuality. Some girls I've dated have used this to play out a dating a straight girl fantasy, and I've once been told by a girl I was seeing, "You're too gay, there's a difference between being OK with who you are and rubbing it in other's faces." Needless to say we didn't see each-other again.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution: I went to culinary school, and I was one of the only women, it kind of helped. It's a very rough and crude environment in kitchens, it made things a little easier with the men, I was able to hold my ground. I'm now going to school for elementary education, it's been fine. I once was propositioned by a female professor, but I didn't accept her offer...
Job: I once got accused of calling out of work to go to pride... I did. Ha. Other then that it hasn't.
Family: My sister and I don't discuss it. My parents have decided who I love, they will love, but they still hold out hope I'll switch teams. My dad makes me help him lift things, and calls me his "boy". I have no brothers.
Friends: My male friends enjoy talking about sex with me, of course sigh, and my female friends are mostly gay to be honest.
What does being out mean to you? It means not allowing society to define normal.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? I don't think it really did.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? Fear.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? The people in your life that love you, will love you no matter who you love.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? I would make the choice to come out, that moment was stolen from me. I wish that I could've told my family myself. My younger sister was a freshman at the same high school I went to, and it made things rough for her, it also damaged our relationship.

http://mayjaybird.wordpress.com/