I keep attempting to disprove stereotypes about dykes in these columns, but the truth is that there are some I cheerfully conform to.

Short hair – check. It’s still extremely short after being shaved right off and I love it. I feel confident and in control with short hair and I reckon it suits me too. I have also, while being a fully functioning dyke, had very long hair. I just find it annoying and yes, I enjoy the fact that I’m easily identified as gay. Even when I’m be...

Yup, this week I'm tackling a little stereotype – as well as an often-made fatuous remark. I need to tell you that lesbians are not fake men, do not wish they were really men and don't want to sleep with men. Sorry guys. Help yourself to all that fake-lesbo porn; you know, the airbrushed stuff full of blonde bimboid cheerleader types pouting profusely and faking ecstasy for money. Hold on to your fantasy lesbians, but please don't try to convert any real ones. Lesbians, my dea...