Et in Arcadia ... Eden!

April 6, 2009


Arcadia is an industrial suburb of East London, in the Eastern Cape - a "city" which is pretty much ignored by the world and certainly by the gay media, because it's little and rather faded around the edges and entirely lacking in glamour.  All of those things are also what make it an incredibly cool place to be.

If you came to visit, I'd take you to Club Eden; down a dark back street (that euphemism may even appeal to some) and only very gently signposted and through the bars of its security gate, past the smoker who takes your R20 and a bouncer or two.  Once you're through, the first thing you'd probably notice is the small dance floor and a lot of black - just round the corner is a bright bar, which was manned by women last time I was there.

You get the feeling that a lot of people know each other and you'll also notice how very mixed it is in terms of gender, race, age and sexuality - on a Friday night anyway.  If Zama is DJ'ng (black woman, long cool dreads) you'll also be cheerfully astonished at what great music is playing in a club that resembles a garage.  The owner, Sally, seems to be one of those tough and kind lesbians, with a good and realistic sense of humour.

Not everyone is pretty there and not everyone is young either - this is a good thing, as an antidote to many gay clubs, which can feel just a little too superficial after a few years' posturing.  Or perhaps I am just getting old.  I have no idea what your chances of scoring would be - I didn't try, but I suspect it might not be the top reason to go.  Go rather, to meet the local queer community - and I really do mean meet, because it's easy to get talking there by the bar or out the back in the small garden courtyard with the rainbow walls.  Go to see and meet real people.

Take tissues though, unless you posess the kind of genitalia you can simply shake - because the toilets are scarily swamp-like and I didn't notice the usual obligatory harassed cleaner rushing about.  In fact, just pee standing up and on tiptoe - it worked for me.

Join their Facebook group too, to see what the children of Eden are like (they're cool) and maybe even the We rule the garden at Club Eden group for some insight from the very regulars.

Friday night's very mixed, Saturday night's very gay and they hold all kinds of fun events and ladies' nights and so on.  I'm going to take my camera next time - I'll keep you posted.

 

The Joys of Lesbianism

March 24, 2009
I write a whole heap of stuff taking the piss out of us, the lesbian community and a whole heap about the stereotypes – but it occurred to me that I don't write so much about the good stuff.  And there is so much good stuff.

Do you remember when you first worked out you were a lesbian?  Maybe the best part is the first time you do something about it … wasn't that experience just like coming home?  Suddenly the jigsaw's all together perfectly, making the most beautiful image.

How about falli...

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Entrenched Enemies

March 18, 2009
It's very freaking disheartening that people seem so incapable of changing their minds at times.  I was watching The Ellen Show - an episode which was made before the USA elections (it must have travelled Africa overland) and the gorgeous Ellen Degeneres was talking to John McCain about gay marriage being overturned in California.  In his usual smooth way, he referred, more than once, to their "respectful disagreement" about gay marriage, because "I believe marriage to be a unique institution...

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The Things Straight People Say

March 6, 2009
But why do gay people have to go on about it so much?

People say that so rationally, so calmly that it almost seems reasonable to me too.  And then I think.  I think about pink triangles and black ones in concentration camps and Michael Causer and Matthew Shepherd and the two murdered Soweto lesbians and all the victims we'll never even hear about.  That's why – that's it.  The rest of us cannot shut up until those people are safe, until kids aren't getting bullied for it in schools, until l...

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Biphobia ... what's that all about?

March 6, 2009

(for queerlife.co.za)

I have a problem with this particular stereotype – and I'm not saying everybody does it, but certainly enough to make it noticeable and worthy of a little rant.  So, what lies behind this phobia anyway?  I'll give you some horrible hearsay.

Bisexual is another way of saying “can't get a date on Friday.”  No.  It isn't.  Perhaps it is in some cases, but then those people have issues that run deeper than a mere definition of their sexuality.  And if you're drunk at a...


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10 Ways to Maintain a Popular Lesbian Blog

March 3, 2009
10 Ways to Maintain a Popular Lesbian Blog
Some serious advice and some rather tongue-in-cheek.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/1206442/10_ways_to_maintain_a_popular_lesbian.html
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High School Gays

March 2, 2009

I’d been ignoring Facebook, because it’s bloated and buggy and doesn’t generate income – I hadn’t even bothered to go and turn email notifications off again after it decided to restore them all to my account without my consent.  Emails would arrive, I’d delete them unless they were really interesting.  Six friend requests came in and I ignored those too, because I assumed they were more of you lot i.e. groupies.  I jest, I jest!  To cut a tedious story short, when I got a message ...


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What is Lesbian Foreplay Anyway??

February 28, 2009
(orig published by MambaGirl.com)

I’ve been asking the same question for years.  What the hell is foreplay in lesbian terms?  See, I assume that for straight people, foreplay is anything before penetration – I could be wrong there, but I don’t want to be educated about it thanks.  Some of my best friends are heterosexual and they’re a bit like the Discovery Channel for me, but there are limits.  They’re entitled to respect, dignity and privacy.  Also, i don’t think they appreciate ...

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Seduce Her

February 28, 2009
(orig. published by MambaGirl.com)

Seduction doesn’t need to be about flowers, candlelight and sleazy, cheesy music. Not that any of those things are intrinsically bad, just a little trite in that context.

Despite the gentle persuasion and arousal involved, it doesn’t work without tacit permission from whomever you’re trying to seduce either. It doesn’t need to be planned. It doesn’t need to be “performed” by only one of the people involved.

The first step in seduction would be t...


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Lesbian Phone Sex

February 28, 2009
(orig. published on MambaGirl.com)

Ah phone sex … not the kind you have to pay for, where the “lesbian” on the other end is probably just a bored housewife in her flannel pyjamas, but real phone sex, with a real lesbian. A real phone too. Bearing that in mind, there are two possibilities i.e. sex with someone you know and sex with someone you don’t know.

Phone sex works better using a hands free kit or an old fashioned handset – not because you’re going to have sex with the phone,...


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All over the internet ... like Marmite.  Only tastier.

iDyke


Weekly columnist for Q back when it was owned by the Mail & Guardian, regular columnist for Queerlife in 2008, as well as contributing to MambaGirl, Cherrygrrl, Gayspeak and other websites, I decided it was about time I collected it all in one place, so I can see what I've done and hopefully keep doing new stuff.
Somewhere along the way, I got a severe case of the Tumblrs ...
::badly drawn dykes webcomic::
::vintage butch photos::

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