Lesbian Hairstyles
July 30, 2009
Don't ask me why, but "lesbian haircuts" and "lesbian hairstyles" are the two search terms that still get me the most hits on Stuff Dykes Like and I think I only ever posted one link to a book on the subject there. So I figured I'd better write something about it all.
Once upon a long ago, on a queer internet forum, us lesbians used to refer to the Twelve Sacred Lesbian Haircuts - they don't exist, any more than the Secret Lesbian Handshake does, but it's a hell of a good way to tease newbies and confuse trolls. Of course, if you want to get pedantic about it, there'd be more than twelve, because there are as many kinds of lesbians as there are women, in terms of superficial appearance anyway. I, with my utilitarian butch dyke hairstyle, generally think stereotyped old skool though. Yeah, yeah, I know I generalise ... it's fun, OK?
The first lesbian hairstyle I personally identified, was one I instantly dubbed the London Lesbian, because I was in London when I first came out and most lesbians I met seemed to have pretty much shaved heads, but with a little Tintin type tuft left perkily in front. A deeply cool look, I thought, although it took me until age 30 to ever shave my head entirely.
The one I've never thought appealing, but have grown fond of nonetheless, is the one where the woman is butch, but doesn't actually want to identify as such - they end up with haircuts that look like cowardly crew cuts; just not quite short and sharp enough. Those woman look like lesbians from a mile away, but they're convinced they're passing for straight.
This decade's been all about Lesbian Bed Head - a welcome distraction from Lesbian Bed Death. Those are the younger dykes, who strut about showing bits of their boxers and bits of their skin and whose confidence makes me smile very broadly indeed. The hair is short and messy and maintained with incredibly small pots of ludicrously expensive hair products with beautifully designed packaging and stylishly sexy names. I can feel an electric thrill running though my skin just thinking about hair mud and wax and clay.
Then of course, there's the Ironic Mullet. This one's tricky, because unless the lesbian sporting it has a fit bod and really great dress sense, it's just, well ... a mullet. I have three words for mullets; Billy Ray Cyrus. Nuff said.
Skinhead! It's not just for fascists - it's also a haircut for a lesbian with fine bones, a pretty face, startling eyes and big boots. It's bald, bold and beautiful. Yum.
Well that ain't twelve and I can't think of any more off the top of my (ha not very ha) head and so I guess all that is left is to explain my own lesbian haircut to you. After shaving my head a lot, which I love, but which makes my mother call me an East German prison warden and after spending a freaking fortune on bed head hairdressers and those gorgeously teeny pots of (ooh!) hair products, I have grown poor and lazy and I cut my own hair now. With blunt scissors and no mirror. It's the anti-hairstyle, I suppose - although that description makes it sound way cooler than it is. I am deeply grateful that I ever get laid at all.
Words: Ulla Kelly
Photo: GLK
Once upon a long ago, on a queer internet forum, us lesbians used to refer to the Twelve Sacred Lesbian Haircuts - they don't exist, any more than the Secret Lesbian Handshake does, but it's a hell of a good way to tease newbies and confuse trolls. Of course, if you want to get pedantic about it, there'd be more than twelve, because there are as many kinds of lesbians as there are women, in terms of superficial appearance anyway. I, with my utilitarian butch dyke hairstyle, generally think stereotyped old skool though. Yeah, yeah, I know I generalise ... it's fun, OK?
The first lesbian hairstyle I personally identified, was one I instantly dubbed the London Lesbian, because I was in London when I first came out and most lesbians I met seemed to have pretty much shaved heads, but with a little Tintin type tuft left perkily in front. A deeply cool look, I thought, although it took me until age 30 to ever shave my head entirely.
The one I've never thought appealing, but have grown fond of nonetheless, is the one where the woman is butch, but doesn't actually want to identify as such - they end up with haircuts that look like cowardly crew cuts; just not quite short and sharp enough. Those woman look like lesbians from a mile away, but they're convinced they're passing for straight.
This decade's been all about Lesbian Bed Head - a welcome distraction from Lesbian Bed Death. Those are the younger dykes, who strut about showing bits of their boxers and bits of their skin and whose confidence makes me smile very broadly indeed. The hair is short and messy and maintained with incredibly small pots of ludicrously expensive hair products with beautifully designed packaging and stylishly sexy names. I can feel an electric thrill running though my skin just thinking about hair mud and wax and clay.
Then of course, there's the Ironic Mullet. This one's tricky, because unless the lesbian sporting it has a fit bod and really great dress sense, it's just, well ... a mullet. I have three words for mullets; Billy Ray Cyrus. Nuff said.
Skinhead! It's not just for fascists - it's also a haircut for a lesbian with fine bones, a pretty face, startling eyes and big boots. It's bald, bold and beautiful. Yum.
Well that ain't twelve and I can't think of any more off the top of my (ha not very ha) head and so I guess all that is left is to explain my own lesbian haircut to you. After shaving my head a lot, which I love, but which makes my mother call me an East German prison warden and after spending a freaking fortune on bed head hairdressers and those gorgeously teeny pots of (ooh!) hair products, I have grown poor and lazy and I cut my own hair now. With blunt scissors and no mirror. It's the anti-hairstyle, I suppose - although that description makes it sound way cooler than it is. I am deeply grateful that I ever get laid at all.
Words: Ulla Kelly
Photo: GLK
Posted by ulla. Posted In : stereotypes
