How many lesbians and their husbands did Lin Sampson talk to before she wrote her somewhat mystifying column "
Bride on the gravy train," one wonders? In her version of things, "many" men looking for second wives choose lesbians, for a variety of cliched reasons.
“I’m sick of all those straight women. They bleed you. I want someone
who doesn’t think that a blowjob deserves a Prada handbag,” said one. (The Sunday Times Lifestyle, May 10 2009)It would be exhaustingly boring to tackle every stereotype she sprinkles into the piece - lesbians are butch enough to put up tents, but sexually indiscriminate enough to do anything to anyone, are just two things she implies. Not to mention the implication that straight women "bleed" their husbands. Apparently we (lesbians) don't nag either, which might be seen as a compliment, but isn't exactly true - just ask any of my exes.
I googled "lesbians who marry men" to see what kind of insight the rest of cyberspace felt like providing and I learned that Americans call marriages between partners with different sexualities
"Brokeback Marriages." There's loads of opinion out there about how some lesbians marry men, because they really want to be straight. An Oprah show spewed forth the opinion that,
"the desire to please overrides the need for personal expression," and that in an otherwise great marriage,
"90% perfect can leave us very unhappy." Another article had what seemed like a more balanced view of things, acknowledging that a straight man and a lesbian can actually be in love, but went on to analyse it all to a degree only seen from a shrink's couch. It's all a bit depressingly full of weak women suppressing their sexuality and controlling men feeding off the whole thing. Are people really that shitty? It had some positive stuff to say though and I learned a new phrase too, "
hetero-emotional." Nothing I read gave me any help with understanding Lin Sampson's waffle.
That's all a digression, because what I didn't find anywhere amongst the Oprah archives or the Princeton ones or any of the LGBTQI ones or anywhere else Google could find, was any mention of the Lin Sampson Syndrome of Lesbian Second Wives.
Top-of-the-range dykes are coated in Teflon — they are smooth and don’t
burn easily. They often have their own businesses and although they are
deeply interested in geld (money), they have a bit of their own and
when the old snail passes on, they will take any perks with graceful
greed. (The Sunday Times Lifestyle, May 10 2009)What?! What on earth is she on about and how did whatever logic she employed actually proceed? I can only conclude that the phenomenon is limited to Planet Sampson, wherever that is. I wonder if her readership's declined and she's in need of some hate mail. And as a friend said on her Facebook status today, I wonder if she's actually met any lesbians? Reading further than that silly column about mixed-orientation marriages soon shows you that such marriages consist of two real human beings with real emotions - sometimes kids too - not dollar signs.
