(orig. published on MambaGirl.com)

Ah phone sex … not the kind you have to pay for, where the “lesbian” on the other end is probably just a bored housewife in her flannel pyjamas, but real phone sex, with a real lesbian. A real phone too. Bearing that in mind, there are two possibilities i.e. sex with someone you know and sex with someone you don’t know.

Phone sex works better using a hands free kit or an old fashioned handset – not because you’re going to have sex with the phone, but because if you try it with a cellphone clamped to your ear, sooner or later you’ll find yourself pushing all the wrong buttons or dropping it or shifting it unconsciously to where she can’t hear you properly. They’re just too small. Whatever system you use could easily go flying at the point of orgasm anyway. Also, if you're using a vibrator it might start interacting/interfering with the cellphone.

Having phone sex with your girlfriend is actually a fabulous way to spice things up a little (you can always phone her and have sex with yourself while she’s stuck at work) and it certainly helps the long distance blues too. If you don't know the person, you probably just need to be extremely horny and hope that whatever she's offering will do the trick.

You don’t even have to make a phone call specifically as a booty call. The most exciting phone sex sometimes happens when it’s late at night, you’re both relaxed and chatting and perhaps the conversation drifts towards sex … next thing you know, your breathing has accelerated along with your heart rate and your libido’s in completely pleasurable overdrive. Or perhaps one of you will SMS the other something erotic and then the phone will ring. Either way, being relaxed and comfortable in the darkness, the intimacy created by a phone call can make phone sex really exciting and satisfying.

If whatever anyone’s wearing is a turn on for you, you can discuss it, but you don’t have to follow that particular cliché. Nobody’s ever asked me what I was wearing in that situation and I can’t imagine too many people getting turned on when they hear it’s boxers and an old t-shirt. You can set an imaginary scene or a real one; “I’m lying naked, wet …” could very well be true, “I’m hanging from the chandelier by my toes,” is very likely pure fantasy, unless you’re a bat. You can hold the phone near whatever you’re playing with at the time if she likes sound effects or just put the phone on loudspeaker if you live alone or get off on being heard. (I was kidding about that last suggestion, but who knows?)

Tell her what you’re doing, ask her what she’s doing, talk about what you want to do to her and what you wish she was doing to you. Enjoy the way her breathing changes, enjoy those small intimate sounds women make when they’re in the throes of ecstasy.

All you need is desire and imagination. And a lesbian to have phone sex with. And a phone to have it on.