There was an influx of lesbians into the village of which I am the only (out) gay this weekend. Three (three!) of us sat and talked rubbish for a while and then one of us needed to get some work done and the other two went to the beach. Here endeth the 'scene' update for my section of the Doos Kaap.
When lesbian no2 arrived (henceforth to be referred to as "The Femme") I stuck out a dykely hand and said, "Hi, I'm the official lesbian," and she shook my hand and said she was the official visiting lesbian. I promptly assigned her to the field of alcohol logistics by demanding a drink. Lesbian no3, Bill, was cunningly disguised as a bisexual woman and waited a few days before coming out as a fully fledged lesbian - The Femme was instantly promoted and Bill now heads the alcohol logistics division.
It made a welcome change to be at a braai locally with half the people there being gay. The usual discussion arose i.e. why do gay people have to make such a fuss about being gay - but this time I didn't have to defend my tribe alone. Generally my friend The Curmudgeon says, "Why does sexuality matter?" and I snarl, "Well it mattered during the holocaust!" and so it goes - same old same old rant, for the sake of humanitarianism, no political correctness.
I wish sexuality didn't matter, but at least we can joke about it. I have a feeling Bill will move up the ranks fast, as she claims to already have a girlfriend she hasn't met yet. She has one of the twelve sacred lesbian haircuts, short nails, muscles, comfortable shoes and a firm handshake too. The Femme met her girlfriend a year or so ago - said girlfriend is about to arrive in the village too, so until Bill leaves tomorrow, I'll be a quarter of the uncloseted population instead of its entirety.
If anyone needs me I'll be reverting to stereotype.
