Posted by ulla on Monday, March 7, 2011,
In :
stereotypes
Symposium #2, March 2011: Butch Stereotypes, Cliches, and Misconceptions: What do people think “butch”
means? What are the stereotypes around being butch? What do people
assume is true about you [or the masculine of center folks in your
life], but actually isn’t? What image or concept do you constantly have
to correct or fight against? How do you feel about these misconceptions?
How do you deal with them? Do you respond to these stereotypes or
cliches? How?
I missed the 2 March dea... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Sunday, October 25, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 Both in and out of the lesbian community, butch lesbians take the most flak. We're the most easily identified of the species and so right from the get go, we're on the firing line. We are also constantly accused of "wanting to be men." Now that's complete nonsense right from the start, because a woman who wants to be a man is called transgendered and within that, may be any sexuality on the spectrum. If you're going to insist upon adhering to society's expectations and definitions, then y... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Monday, September 14, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
Yet another idiotic headline by South Africa's Daily Sun newspaper - and since their idiotic website is under idiotic construction, I couldn't find out anything about the story. And nope, I couldn't buy the newspaper, it was late on Sunday, driving through a rural bit of the Eastern Cape.
Given my country's history of apartheid and that old madam and maid concept, I would, in fact, be interested to know the story - but not from a snotrag tabloid's point of view. I also question the word us...
Posted by ulla on Saturday, September 5, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 After enough years, thinking up new dyke opinion pieces to write becomes a little more challenging. Address the stereotypes, lament the hatred, joke about dyke drama ... blah blah blah. One of my three readers said (and I quote), "Oi feminist, write about hair - I want to throw the razor away." My personal opinion of leg, armpit and pube shaving and waxing and electrolysis and so on is, if you want to do it, do; if not, don't. Most queer women I talk to these days say they're fans of shavin...
Posted by ulla on Monday, August 31, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
Posted by ulla on Thursday, July 30, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 Don't ask me why, but "lesbian haircuts" and "lesbian hairstyles" are the two search terms that still get me the most hits on Stuff Dykes Like and I think I only ever posted one link to a book on the subject there. So I figured I'd better write something about it all. Once upon a long ago, on a queer internet forum, us lesbians used to refer to the Twelve Sacred Lesbian Haircuts - they don't exist, any more than the Secret Lesbian Handshake does, but it's a hell of a good way to tease newbies...
Posted by ulla on Monday, June 8, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 I referred to someone idly as a dyke the other day and she said, "I'm no dyke!" although her Facebook profile intimated that she was into women. I looked at a photo, saw long hair and light dawned. "Oh HO!" quoth I to myself, "She is one of many lesbians who think that dyke equates to butch." So I returned to the relevant chat window and said, "Dyke doesn't equal butch these days, we've reclaimed it from being a derogatory term applied by homophobes and have made it into a good, strong wor...
Posted by ulla on Wednesday, May 27, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 I am starting to conform to stereotype - the one where lesbians stay friends with their exes. It's not even all that long since I wrote a rant against that very thing and I guess I have to blame stuff for this turnaround. So here goes.
I have exes who are really good people, who, despite having survived the horror or relationships with me, are compassionate enough to want to be friends. Somewhere along the way I guess I also pulled my head out of my ass long enough to see them for the good ... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Sunday, May 10, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
 How many lesbians and their husbands did Lin Sampson talk to before she wrote her somewhat mystifying column " Bride on the gravy train," one wonders? In her version of things, "many" men looking for second wives choose lesbians, for a variety of cliched reasons. “I’m sick of all those straight women. They bleed you. I want someone
who doesn’t think that a blowjob deserves a Prada handbag,” said one. (The Sunday Times Lifestyle, May 10 2009)It would be exhaustingly boring to tackle eve...
Posted by ulla on Thursday, April 16, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
I bet I am the last lesbian on earth to work this one out; butches wear cargo pants and other clothes with completely extraneous pockets, because femmes don't like to take their handbags into nightclubs and we end up carrying stuff for them. A few times wearing jeans with the standard five pockets and you start missing your cargo pants, because wearing anything else, by the end of the night you end up resembling one of those, "Is that two wallets, car keys, lipstick, tissues and a coupla cel... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Friday, March 6, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
(for queerlife.co.za)
I have a problem with this particular stereotype – and I'm not saying everybody does it, but certainly enough to make it noticeable and worthy of a little rant. So, what lies behind this phobia anyway? I'll give you some horrible hearsay.
Bisexual is another way of saying “can't get a date on Friday.” No. It isn't. Perhaps it is in some cases, but then those people have issues that run deeper than a mere definition of their sexuality. And if you're drunk at a... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
(orig. published by QueerLife & Cherrygrrl)
Write something from a dyke perspective, they reckon … what’s that? I
suppose I have a permanent lesbian’s eye view, being a lesbian and all,
but what makes it different to heterovision?
Through the glass dyke-ly I see a world that’s far
too diverse to bother with closets, but we do. Everyone has secrets.
When Michael Stipe came out he said he was fed up being made to feel
guilty, when he wasn’t ashamed of being gay, he just wanted to keep... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
(originally published by QueerLife)
Here’s the side of the phone call you hear between your girlfriend and her ex-girlfriend:
Hello?
Hello!
Exchange of how-are-yous
Laughter
Mild sexual innuendo
Unemotional mention of current girlfriend
Confiding tone
Expressions of concern/interest
Multiple lingering farewells
Wistful facial expression followed by very bright smile
Ring any bells? Things can be as innocent as they like, but boi oh boi
do lesbians ever hold on to their exes. I’m probabl... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Saturday, February 28, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
The title of this column is a quote from a lesbian called Wasabi on the
Q forums, and when I read it some months ago, I almost pissed myself
laughing – it’s just so accurate and witty.
What is it about lesbians and poetry? It’s like comfortable
shoes and short hair; it’s one of those stereotypes that’s widespread
enough to work. Before I get lynched by used-tampon-wielding lesbo
poets, let me state here and now that I too write poetry – generally
under the heading “really bad l... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
By Ulla Kelly
I keep attempting to disprove stereotypes about dykes in these columns,
but the truth is that there are some I cheerfully conform to.
Short hair – check. It’s still extremely short after being
shaved right off and I love it. I feel confident and in control with
short hair and I reckon it suits me too. I have also, while being a
fully functioning dyke, had very long hair. I just find it annoying and
yes, I enjoy the fact that I’m easily identified as gay. Even when I’m
be... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
By Ulla Kelly
It's yet another stereotype, but the words "dyke" and "drama"
frequently stroll hand in hand through our little lesbian ghetto. We
all roll our eyes at the notion and pretend it only happens to other
dykes.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and indulge in some rather
sexist stereotyping. I suggest that in heterosexual relationships, it's
possible that it's the female of the species that indulges more in
things like discussions of emotions, and that this is what ends up
being la... Continue reading ...
Posted by ulla on Friday, February 27, 2009,
In :
stereotypes
By Ulla Kelly
Yup, this week I'm tackling a little stereotype – as well as an
often-made fatuous remark. I need to tell you that lesbians are not
fake men, do not wish they were really men and don't want to sleep with
men. Sorry guys. Help yourself to all that fake-lesbo porn; you know,
the airbrushed stuff full of blonde bimboid cheerleader types pouting
profusely and faking ecstasy for money. Hold on to your fantasy
lesbians, but please don't try to convert any real ones. Lesbians, my
dea... Continue reading ...
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All over the internet ... like Marmite. Only tastier.
iDyke
| Ulla Kelly |
| Eastern Cape, South Africa |
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Weekly columnist for Q back when it was owned by the Mail & Guardian, regular columnist for Queerlife in 2008, as well as contributing to MambaGirl, Cherrygrrl, Gayspeak and other websites, I decided it was about time I collected it all in one place, so I can see what I've done and hopefully keep doing new stuff.
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